My Wardrobe, Myself

For as many years as I can remember, I have been selecting a theme for each year that is encapsulated by a single word. This theme highlights what I feel is my biggest opportunity for growth and self-discovery for the year and what I think will make the most difference in my life. Some of my past yearly themes have been deliberate, balance, peace, essential, freedom, enough, and less.

In some years, my word had a very big impact on my life, while in others it didn’t move the needle much at all. A lot of that has depended upon how much attention I gave to my word and how much I kept it top of mind throughout the year. I didn’t do all that well with keeping my 2022 word, “lightness,” at the forefront of my consciousness, so I don’t feel like I experienced as much growth as I’d like in that realm. However, I’d still like to review the ways in which “lightness” affected my 2022 experience, as well as how I’d like to continue incorporating more of this concept into my life this year.

In my next post, I’ll share what I’ve chosen as my 2023 word/theme and how I see it potentially impacting my life throughout this year. I was going to do both the 2022 recap and the new word introduction in a single post, but I’d really like to start publishing shorter posts more often, rather than writing “marathon” essays that go live only every two to three weeks on average. We’ll see how I do with that, as old habits can certainly die hard! But perhaps my 2023 theme will help me on that front, as well as continued awareness of the theme of “lightness.”

The Year of “Lightness”…

I selected “lightness” as my word for 2022 because I was feeling increasingly old, tired, burdened, overwhelmed, and negative, and I wanted to experience fun, joy, levity, connection, health, and happiness instead. In my essay announcing my 2022 theme, I highlighted the ways in which I wanted lightness to manifest in my wardrobe, body, daily life, and mind and spirit.

I set a lot of positive intentions for those areas, but then life happened and I didn’t revisit this empowering vision for 2022 much at all. Last year was very difficult for me personally, and I ended up concentrating most of my energy on remaining sane and doing what I needed to do rather than on improving my life in bigger, more tangible ways. I was more in survival mode than growth mode for much of the year, which can happen to all of us from time to time.

That all said, I do have a few wins to report related to the theme of lightness, and I did experience growth and change despite not concentrating much on my word for the year. Overall, 2022 was very much a “mixed bag” in terms of lightness, much like it was for “less” in 2021. Below are some of the highlights.

Win – Weight Loss

When I wrote about “lightness of body” last February, I mentioned that I wanted to feel and be lighter. I was looking to lose some or all the weight that I had gained with menopause, and I also hoped to turn around the prediabetes diagnosis that I received in January 2022. While I don’t yet know if my A1C level has gone down (I get re-tested next month), I did change my diet in meaningful ways, which resulted in a fairly significant weight loss. I also attribute my body downsizing to experiencing a lot of stress last year, as I tend to lose my appetite and eat less during rough times. But since I had been focused on shifting my habits at the same time, I didn’t go back to my previous way of eating and the weight has stayed off.

I haven’t weighed myself in years due to my eating disorder history, but I’ve gone down one to two sizes in my clothing, depending upon the fit and style of a given garment, so I’m guessing that I probably lost about fifteen pounds or so. I shared about my issues with my clothes no longer fitting me and the need to change my “holding zone” approach in posts back in June and October, so if you’ve been following along, you’re already aware of the challenges that have accompanied the positives of my having lost weight. But despite my needing to alter some clothes and set others aside (perhaps permanently), overall, I’m very pleased to have lost weight, and I feel lighter, healthier, and more energetic as a result.

One thing that made a dramatic difference to my health and weight was starting a meal delivery subscription through Daily Harvest. I’m not that great of a cook, and I also don’t like to spend a lot of time in the kitchen, so it’s been a game changer to have healthy, easy-to-prepare meals on hand that include lots of vegetables and fruits and are tasty and low in calories.

I’ve been eating the Daily Harvest food for almost a year now, and I still love it. I don’t use it for every meal, as that would be too pricey and I don’t have the freezer space, but I do eat this food regularly. If any readers in the U.S. would like to try it out, you can use my referral code of RE-73Y7EG2 to receive up to $65 off your first box (NOTE: this is not a sponsored post, as everyone who’s a Daily Harvest subscriber gets a unique referral code, but I will receive a discount if any of you place an order).

In addition to eating the Daily Harvest meals, I’ve also reduced how often I snack and what I snack on. I could still stand to make more improvements to my diet, including eating more protein and fewer carbs and further reducing my intake of processed foods. But I’m proud of the changes I’ve made, and I feel much lighter and healthier these days. I hope I’ve averted the potential of becoming diabetic, but since it runs in my family, I know that I’ll have to remain vigilant, especially as I get older.

Mixed Bag – Lightness in My Daily Life

The good news is that I’ve been diligent about making a point of spending more time outdoors and in the light of day, even if it’s just taking a short walk around my neighborhood. Just a 15-minute walk can make a big difference in terms of my mood. While my husband and I go on walks by the water many evenings, I didn’t do that on my own during the daytime like I intended to do. I also didn’t get back into photography, but that’s something that I may opt to do this year, as taking landscape photos used to provide me with a lot of joy several years ago.

I didn’t make any new connections during 2022, but I did succeed in maintaining the friendships that I already had, both nearby and far away. I don’t see or talk to my friends very often, but the interactions are often deep and positive when they occur, so I’m grateful for that. I’d still love to meet some new people this year, and now that in-person gatherings are happening more often again, perhaps I’ll have a better chance of doing so. I’d also like to see more movies in the theater this year (I only did so four times in 2022!), explore more live entertainment, and visit more new restaurants, as I wrote about wanting to do last year. Having novel experiences is so important in terms of our happiness and fulfillment, and it also helps to decrease the feeling that time is rushing by, so I want novelty to be a bigger part of my experience this year.

Mixed Bag – Lightness of Wardrobe

On a positive note, I’m happier overall with my wardrobe than I was a year ago. I made fewer shopping mistakes, and most of my purchases were appropriate for my real life rather than for a previous lifestyle or fantasy existence. I let go of many pieces that weren’t serving me, and I separated out everything that doesn’t currently fit me into my holding zone bins (and only kept those pieces that I would actually want to wear again). The bad news is that I still have too many clothes and I bought too much last year. I still struggle with feelings of scarcity that lead me to purchase more than what I truly need. I also continue to be dazzled by sales and waste too much time, energy, and money on pursuing a “deal.”

It’s disconcerting to me how much I continue to struggle with my clothes, especially given how long I’ve been blogging on the topic of wardrobe and how much I’ve learned over the years! But I know that many of my issues are more about my psyche than related to practical shopping and purging considerations. I know what I need to do, but I continue to use shopping and wardrobe management as coping strategies during stressful times.

Shopping is my “vice” much like other behaviors and substances are for a lot of people. It may not debilitate my life to the degree that alcohol, gambling, or the like destroy the lives of individuals with those addictions or compulsions, but it has caused me a lot of pain over the years. While I’m not back to square one like when I started Recovering Shopaholic and owned a huge wardrobe full of less than great clothes, I still experience many frustrating ups and downs. Sadly, last year was one of my worst years in a while in terms of buying, returning, and purging far too much. And it’s as much about the time sink of those activities as it is about financial expenditures, if not more.

I’ll share more in my next couple of posts about how I plan to continue my intention for more “lightness” in my wardrobe. I’d still like to have a smaller and more functional wardrobe and be more intentional with my shopping. I’m reminded of how light and free I felt while on my November trip to Tahoe. Even though my travel wardrobe wasn’t perfect, there was a freedom in having a limited number of choices for what to wear. Also, when I didn’t have the right things to wear, it was easy to determine what would have better suited my needs. When I look into my very full closet now, it can be hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, as the saying goes, and the combinations are so endless as to be completely overwhelming. Going back to my 2021 word of the year, I would be better served with having less to choose from!

Wins and Growth Opportunities – Lightness of Mind and Spirit

The final area of “lightness” I’d like to cover relates to my mind and spirit. A year ago, I expressed the desire for more fun and joy in my life. I wasn’t having enough fun, and I felt like a bit of a “fuddy-duddy” at times. I was often too serious, hardened, and jaded, and I wanted to be more young at heart. Although I can’t say that I achieved that goal, I did make some good progress related to my mindset and spiritual growth.

I’m about to complete six months of regular therapy sessions. I wish I could keep moving forward with this work, but as many of you know, it can be expensive and cost-prohibitive. So, I’m grateful to have been able to do it for as long as I have. During my therapy, I worked a lot on my issues with self-criticism, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and codependence.

I’ve made great strides in terms of being more compassionate towards myself and more detached from the opinions of others. I was able to have some difficult conversations with the people in my life that I never would have taken on previously. These conversations didn’t necessarily lead to change or improved relationships, but they did help me to feel more empowered and like I’m on my own side. I still struggle with sticking up for myself and expressing my feelings and needs, particularly with my family, but I now realize that the way I feel matters just as much as their feelings and opinions. I’m more willing to set limits and detach, which has me feeling lighter in spirit than I did before.

In regards to my spiritual growth, my husband and I have gone back to attending a nondenominational church that we were participated in over a decade ago. We alternate between going in person and watching the services online, but this activity has added both perspective and calm to my life. Meditation is part of the church services, but I haven’t incorporated this practice into my daily life beyond what I do on Sundays. I can see the value in adding mindfulness as a regular activity, but I struggle to make it happen and I also find it challenging to quiet my mind during meditation. A friend of mine has had some positive experiences with chanting, so I may opt to give that a try.

Conclusion

I’m glad I took the time to do this review, as it helped me to recognize that “lightness” had more of a positive impact on my life than I previously realized. Although I wish I would have paid more attention to this theme throughout 2022, having set the intention for more lightness in terms of my wardrobe, body, daily life, and mind and spirit created a powerful backdrop for my year after all. I’m choosing to celebrate my wins now rather than beat myself up for what I didn’t do, as that’s part of my new approach of cultivating self-compassion. I’m by no means perfect and I often falter when it comes to my goals, but I do have things to be proud of for 2022.

I’m going to carry the spirit of lightness forward throughout 2023 in all areas of my life and allow it to permeate my existence in tandem with my theme for this year (which I’ll share in my next post). I don’t want to feel like I’m “getting old,” but I also don’t want to be under the delusion that I have all the time in the world, either. I want to recapture more of my youthful enthusiasm, curiosity, and optimism and embrace the freedom that I have to be, do, and have many things in life.

Most of my limitations are more in my mind than grounded in reality, yet I often forget that important fact. I also tend to fall prey to societal presuppositions about “women of a certain age” that really are hogwash and should be treated as such! We can all find many empowering examples of women – and men – that didn’t let age stop them from doing what they wanted to do and being who they wanted to be, so why can’t we do the same? The old adages that “age is just a number” and “we’re only as old as we feel” are so true, and I want to incorporate these mottos into my day-to-day life in 2023 and beyond!

Your Thoughts?

Now it’s time for you to weigh in, if you so desire. While I welcome your thoughts on what I shared here today, I’d also love to hear about how you did with your word/theme for 2022, if you chose one. What were your wins, and what challenges did you face along the way? Feel free to share about your wardrobe or any other areas of your life. If you didn’t select a theme but would still like to offer your thoughts on how 2022 went for you, you’re welcome to do so. I’ll be back soon with my word for 2023 and how I hope it will positively impact my life in the coming months. Thanks as always for your readership and your support!