My Wardrobe, Myself

“Everyone suffers from self-hatred and guilt.”

I believe this principle is important for several reasons. First, it’s always helpful and comforting to know that we are not alone in our struggles and pain. Knowing that other people are experiencing the same difficulties as we are can help us to feel more normal and less dysfunctional. Although I feel that some people struggle with self-hatred and guilt to a larger degree than others, I agree that this is an issue for everyone at some point in their lives. I believe that Louise Hay states this principle as a type of precursor to some of her later principles which work on transforming the painful feelings of self-hatred and guilt, as well as other harmful emotions and habits.

I have experienced a great deal of self-hatred and guilt over the course of my life. To say that I am hard on myself is putting it mildly, so to speak. I have a tendency to blame myself for anything that goes wrong and to hold myself to inordinately high standards which are virtually impossible to meet. I feel guilty for the things which I have done wrong, as well for my poor judgments and missed opportunities. Although I feel that I’ve improved greatly in terms of being less critical and mean toward myself, I still struggle with this issue. I look forward to using Louise Hay’s principles to heal my self-critical tendencies.

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, The Healing Project.

In order to further lay the groundwork for this blog and my work here, I would like to highlight some of the key principles which Louise Hay outlines in “You Can Heal Your Life.” I will list each principle as stated by Louise Hay, and then I will explain this principle in my own words and relate a bit about what it means to me personally. As there are a number of principles which I would like to cover before delving into the deep work of my personal healing project, this is the first of four posts on this topic.

“We are each responsible for our own experiences.”

Louise Hay advocates personal responsibility. Although she asks people to explore their childhoods and past experiences through the exercises in her book, she cautions her readers against laying blame upon anyone else for his or her current life condition. While it is true that our past experiences and interactions with others have shaped who we are, we are the only ones who are truly responsible for where we are in our lives today.

There is both good and bad news to this principle. The bad news is that we don’t get to blame anyone else or hold anyone else responsible for what’s happening in our lives. The good news is that it is completely in our power to transform our lives wholly and completely. This is, of course, a double-edged sword. It is in our power to change, we are free to change our lives in both small and great ways, but it is US who must make those changes.

I am completely willing to own that I am responsible for my experiences. This means that if I fall into “victim mode,” which happens to all of us at times, it is up to me to pull myself out of that abyss and step back into ownership mode. I am responsible for what I think and what I do. I am responsible for doing what I say I’m going to do and for honoring my commitments to myself and others. This is a tall order, but it affords us great freedom to be and to create.