My Wardrobe, Myself

Are Black Pants “Dressy”?

Debbie Roes

April 20, 2024

I recently had a medical procedure done to address the varicose veins in my left leg (the right leg will be taken care of later in the year), which led to my needing to wear a compression stocking for several weeks. This procedure also resulted in my leg feeling quite sore and tender, so I was unable to wear some of my usual clothing comfortably.

In the early days, I mostly wore loose-fitting joggers and yoga pants and didn’t schedule many social activities that might require other types of garments. But for the few out-and-about engagements that I had, I struggled to get dressed. In today’s post, I share about that experience and ponder the notion of what is and isn’t “dressy.”

Does including black pants in an outfit automatically make it “dressy”?

My Standard “Uniform”

My usual “uniform” during the cooler months is to pair a long-sleeved top with jeans and either a cardigan or jacket. This works for my casual lifestyle and the types of activities that I do (outside of my regular walks, when I wear athletic clothing). In the summer, there’s more variety to how I dress, as I switch out the jeans for cropped pants and sometimes also wear dresses or skirts.

In terms of full-length pants that aren’t either jeans or athletic pants, all that I own are black pants. This is because I like wearing jeans, and I also haven’t been able to find other full-length pants that are both casual and have a long enough inseam for me. Many retailers that offer tall sizing still have limited options, and they’re usually only what are considered “basics,” like jeans and black pants (and perhaps a few varieties of dress pants).

So, when I first needed to wear something other than jeans or athletic pants during my recovery (which is ongoing), I pretty much only had black pants to choose from. The weather is still pretty cool where I live, especially in the evenings, so I wasn’t ready to switch to cropped pants and open-toe shoes just yet. I thought it would be easy to just swap out my usual jeans for the black pants, but what I discovered is that I ended up feeling too “dressy” in the resulting outfits.

My 2024 Word of the Year Is…

Debbie Roes

18 comments

April 6, 2024

I got a bit distracted with my last few posts (although I believe they were important ones), so it’s taken me longer to get around to sharing my 2024 word of the year and debriefing my theme from 2023. Although we’re already three months into the year, I actually selected my 2024 word on January 1, but just haven’t written about it until now. In today’s essay, I’ll share my word, why I chose it, and how I see it impacting my life in 2024 and beyond. I’ll also briefly address my 2023 theme and my feelings about how it unfolded for me last year.

Recapping “Clarity”

recapping my 2023 clarity theme

As some of you might remember, my word for 2023 was “clarity.” While I usually give periodic updates throughout the year, I never revisited my clarity theme after the initial post announcing it in February. That’s because I don’t really feel that I gained much increased clarity last year. While I can say that I got clearer about what I don’t want for myself and my life, I never gained a clear vision for what I do want. I still have a fairly foggy view of what I want the rest of my life to look like, and I mostly live in the present or the near future. That’s not necessarily bad, as having a present focus is overall a good way to live, but I would like to feel like I have more purpose and passion in my life.

Because I still want to become clearer on my life’s path, I’m carrying “clarity” forward into 2024, along with my new word for this year (which I’ll announce in the next section). I will say that I have gained some clarity in the early months of this year, which I’m grateful for. I wrote quite a bit about my increased wardrobe clarity in my last few posts, which began with the epiphany I gained following Sally from St. Paul’s comment about my being more selective about the way I dress than how I shop. That awareness led me to return multiple potential wardrobe “benchwarmers” and also to realize that I don’t like wearing the currently trending wide-leg pants.

I didn’t gain clarity on which creative pursuits I next want to embrace (i.e., writing and other modes of self-expression), but I do feel less angst around this issue than I did in early 2023. I’m still tossing around a few potential ideas, but I haven’t centered upon a clear path just yet. So, I’ll continue writing this blog for the foreseeable future and will aim for an average of two posts per month. I’d like to do more, but it never seems to happen, so I’m just going to try to meet that benchmark for now. I’d still like to publish shorter posts, but it’s been hard to break the habit of long-form blogging that I’ve done for over a decade. When I can, I break my posts out into series, and some topics just lend themselves to shorter essays, so maybe I’ll get better at doing that.

As for the rest of my life, I’m hoping that a combination of clarity and my 2024 theme will help me make more empowered decisions and have increased forward motion this year. So, on to the next…

I Had a Style Epiphany This Week

Debbie Roes

27 comments

March 22, 2024

I had an important style epiphany yesterday. It was born out of frustration and upset, but I think my life will end up being easier because of what I learned. In today’s post, I’ll share what happened, why I initially felt so disheartened, and what lessons I took from my experience.

style epiphany, lessons learned

Trying Out a New Style

We’ll start at the beginning… A few months ago, I purchased some wide-leg jeans. I did so in an effort to “broaden my horizons” by trying new styles. I hadn’t worn any wide pants or jeans for close to a decade, but I did like them at one time. Because wider-hemmed styles are currently “on trend,” they’re available all over the place. I thought it might be nice to try something new and potentially “evolve my style” a bit.

The purchase of the new jeans was before reader Sally from St. Paul’s insightful commentary on my shopping and style. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out my post from last month on how we shop versus how we dress. To make a long story short, I have tended not to be as “picky” about the items I buy compared to what I actually wear on a regular basis. I’m highly selective about what I wear, which is why I’ve often ended up with so many wardrobe “benchwarmers” over the years. Sally suggested that I start applying the same level of discernment when shopping as when I’m getting dressed for the various occasions in my life.

Sally’s sage advice was simple yet powerful, and it immediately resulted in my returning five recent purchases that were still within their return windows. Unfortunately, however, I couldn’t return the wide-leg jeans since too much time had passed. I wish I’d had the presence of mind to take the wide-leg jeans back to the store before the window of opportunity closed, but I stubbornly held on to them for months, believing that I would be able to “make them work.”

Five Returns I Made After My Last Post

Debbie Roes

11 comments

February 29, 2024

Today’s essay is basically a follow-up to my last one, about the issue of shopping the way we dress – or not. After realizing that I’ve often been a lot more selective with what I wear compared to what I purchase and/or keep, I decided to take a good, hard look at my recent purchases to see if I might avoid mistakes like the ones I wrote about last month.

Return windows are getting narrower at many retailers, but fortunately I was able to identify five items that I could still take or send back to the retailer for a refund. In this post, I’ll share those pieces and my reasons for returning them. They were all “close but no cigar,” which is frequently a defining characteristic of the wardrobe “benchwarmers” that hang in my closet and rarely get worn. Fully realizing how “picky” I am about what I wear will hopefully help me to minimize those benchwarmers even further and save me both money and guilt!

women with shopping bags making returns to a store

A Wardrobe “White Whale”

We’ll start with an item that’s been on my shopping priorities list for a long time: cool-toned metallic, low-heeled ankle boots. I had purchased a pair that I thought would fit the bill back in 2022, but they turned out to be of low quality and didn’t hold up very well. I was probably too hasty in deciding to keep them, which can happen to many of us when we become weary at trying to fill a gap in our closets. After searching high and low for a specific item for months or even years, it’s common to lower our standards and perhaps “settle” for less than what we truly want.

How We Shop vs. How We Dress

Debbie Roes

25 comments

February 18, 2024

In my last post, I shared what I viewed as my ten worst purchases of 2023. I showed photos of each item and highlighted why I felt it was a mistake to have bought it. I closed out the essay with a summary of the seven lessons I learned through reviewing my ill-advised buys of the previous year.

As usual, I asked readers to share feedback on what I had written, as well as on their own worst purchases of 2023. I always enjoy reading what readers have to say, and I’m fortunate in that I receive thoughtful and insightful comments on my essays. I learn a lot from what readers share, and many of my blog posts over the years have been informed by the comments I receive.

I’m grateful to all those who weighed in on my last post, but one comment in particular has stuck with me the most and really made me think. In fact, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind! So, in today’s post, I’ll share excerpts of that comment (it was a long one!), as well as my follow-on thoughts to what this very insightful reader had to say.

How selective are you when you shop versus when you get dressed?

Highlights of the Comment

The comment in question came from reader “Sally in St. Paul,” who has her own great style blog called Within a World of My Own. Sally is a regular commenter here whose feedback is always helpful and interesting to read, but she really outdid herself this time. I invite you to go to my last post and read Sally’s comment in its entirety, but I’ll include some highlights here that are especially germane to today’s topic.