I got a bit distracted with my last few posts (although I believe they were important ones), so it’s taken me longer to get around to sharing my 2024 word of the year and debriefing my theme from 2023. Although we’re already three months into the year, I actually selected my 2024 word on January 1, but just haven’t written about it until now. In today’s essay, I’ll share my word, why I chose it, and how I see it impacting my life in 2024 and beyond. I’ll also briefly address my 2023 theme and my feelings about how it unfolded for me last year.
Recapping “Clarity”
As some of you might remember, my word for 2023 was “clarity.” While I usually give periodic updates throughout the year, I never revisited my clarity theme after the initial post announcing it in February. That’s because I don’t really feel that I gained much increased clarity last year. While I can say that I got clearer about what I don’t want for myself and my life, I never gained a clear vision for what I do want. I still have a fairly foggy view of what I want the rest of my life to look like, and I mostly live in the present or the near future. That’s not necessarily bad, as having a present focus is overall a good way to live, but I would like to feel like I have more purpose and passion in my life.
Because I still want to become clearer on my life’s path, I’m carrying “clarity” forward into 2024, along with my new word for this year (which I’ll announce in the next section). I will say that I have gained some clarity in the early months of this year, which I’m grateful for. I wrote quite a bit about my increased wardrobe clarity in my last few posts, which began with the epiphany I gained following Sally from St. Paul’s comment about my being more selective about the way I dress than how I shop. That awareness led me to return multiple potential wardrobe “benchwarmers” and also to realize that I don’t like wearing the currently trending wide-leg pants.
I didn’t gain clarity on which creative pursuits I next want to embrace (i.e., writing and other modes of self-expression), but I do feel less angst around this issue than I did in early 2023. I’m still tossing around a few potential ideas, but I haven’t centered upon a clear path just yet. So, I’ll continue writing this blog for the foreseeable future and will aim for an average of two posts per month. I’d like to do more, but it never seems to happen, so I’m just going to try to meet that benchmark for now. I’d still like to publish shorter posts, but it’s been hard to break the habit of long-form blogging that I’ve done for over a decade. When I can, I break my posts out into series, and some topics just lend themselves to shorter essays, so maybe I’ll get better at doing that.
As for the rest of my life, I’m hoping that a combination of clarity and my 2024 theme will help me make more empowered decisions and have increased forward motion this year. So, on to the next…
Selecting My 2024 Word
As with last year, I attended a “burning bowl and white stone ceremony” on the first day of 2024. This ceremony involves doing meditations and writing exercises to release emotional burdens from the previous twelve months and create positive visions for the coming year. After writing down all the things I wanted to let go of from 2023 and tossing that paper into a fire, I wrote down a list of the good feelings, experiences, and goals I wanted to welcome into my life this year.
Prior to attending the ceremony, I had already done quite a bit of thinking about potential 2024 themes, but I was open to whatever came up for me through the meditations and writing. While I thought my word for the year would be something like purpose, priorities, contribution, or acceptance, the word that very clearly arose in my consciousness was…
Courage
As soon as the word courage came into my mind, I knew it was the perfect word for me in 2024. I don’t consider myself a particularly brave person, although many blog commenters have called me courageous for putting so much of my life and myself out onto the internet. That may well be true, but I’d like to translate more of that courage into the rest of my life. Included below are some thoughts about how I see courage potentially manifesting itself in my life throughout 2024, beginning with my wardrobe. Fortunately, I’ve already seen some positive effects from my word of the year over the past few months, especially as it relates to the main focus areas of this blog.
Courage with My Wardrobe and How I Dress
We’ll start in the closet, as clothing and wardrobe are mostly what I write about here. I’ve realized that it takes courage for us to dress the way we want to dress, especially as we get older. I know it took courage for me to transition to my natural gray hair when most other women my age (I started the process at age 49) were still coloring their hair on a regular basis. That process was difficult for me, but I did it, although I sometimes had to grit my teeth and resist the urge to quit. So, I know that I can also buck trends and swim against the tide when it comes to what I wear.
I have a good sense of what I do and don’t like when it comes to clothing, but I don’t always trust myself to embrace the former and eschew the latter. I lack the confidence to just wear what I like when it runs far afield from current trends and what others around me are putting on their bodies. I’ve been afraid of standing out like a sore thumb or looking hopelessly “dated,” especially when I’ve been around other women. But when I’ve worn certain styles and silhouettes that I just don’t like (like those wide-leg jeans I wrote about last month), I’ve felt uncomfortable and like I wasn’t being true to myself.
When I think about the women whose styles I’ve admired over the years, whether they’re celebrities or just women I know or see out and about in the world, they haven’t been the ones who were on the cutting edge of all the trends. They’ve been women who know what they like and fearlessly wear it. They’ve often been women with a signature style that was unmistakable to everyone around them. It hasn’t always been what I’d personally want to wear, but I’ve admired them for wearing what they love, regardless of whether it dovetailed with what the “fashion gods” told us was “in.”
I want to be one of those people. I want to confidently wear what I like with my head held high. I want to wear all black in the summer if that’s what I feel like. I want to don straight-leg pants, long toppers, and striking silver jewelry. I want to express myself through my clothing rather than either hiding out in blah, unassuming outfits or hopelessly trying to fit in with what’s “current.” So, I’ll be tuning more into my feelings and what I personally love and want to wear this year – and beyond.
Courage with My Choices
As I’ve written about periodically over the years, I’m a “people pleaser” who worries a lot about the opinions of others. While this has definitely been true about my clothing, it’s also been the case for other areas of my life, including the choices I make – or don’t make. I’ve often done or not done certain things because others have wanted me to do or not do them. This has sometimes led to my feeling unfulfilled or like a big wimp. Even if I have had the courage to do what I’ve felt most called to, I’ve often been afraid or ashamed to proudly share that information with others.
The people-pleasing has been evident throughout many areas of my life, but I’ll give one cogent example here. There have been many times over the years when I’ve strongly considered stopping blogging. Back in 2017, I actually did so for close to a year, but I had wanted to end Recovering Shopaholic for a long time before I bit the bullet and did it. Because I didn’t want to disappoint those who liked the blog and were benefitting from it, I kept on publishing new posts even though my heart was no longer in it.
I have a much smaller audience now, but I still worry about disappointing readers, and I’d also miss connecting with regular commenters here. But I need to do what’s right for me, which may mean either pivoting to a new blog or stopping altogether. At this point, I’m not sure what I want to do with my writing, just like I’m unsure about so much of the rest of my life. Maybe I’ll feel reinvigorated about My Wardrobe, Myself, or maybe I’ll feel called in another direction. I do want to continue writing in some form, though, so we’ll see how that takes shape and unfolds.
Hopefully this year, I’ll gain both the clarity to know how I’d like to proceed in life and the courage to actually do it, regardless of whether others will be happy with my decisions or not. We all know that we can’t make everyone happy, but that doesn’t stop some of us from trying! I never want to hurt or disappoint anyone, but I can’t have that be at the expense of myself and my own well-being.
Courage in My Relationships
My people-pleasing tendencies and desire to be liked also stops me from speaking up for myself in my interactions with others. I can be overly “agreeable” and like a “blank slate” onto which others project how they want me to be. This feels awful and leads me to feeling a lack of closeness in many of my relationships. I realize that this way of being evolved as a coping mechanism during my childhood, and the relationship dynamics I have with my family have often carried over with others in my life.
In addition to being a people pleaser, I’m also codependent, which has resulted in my being there for others who don’t reciprocate my caring and attention. Many of the “energy vampires” that have been in my life are long gone, but I still struggle with imbalance in my friendships and especially with my family. I like helping other people and offering support and advice during difficult times, but it’s painful not to get the same in return. I don’t keep score, but I can feel it when the balance is tipped too far on the side of my being the giver and others being takers.
Where I see courage coming into play in my relationships is multi-fold. First, I want to be myself more with those around me. If I don’t agree with what they’re saying, I want to say so. For example, I have one friend who has some very extreme viewpoints that I’m not in line with. I have mostly kept quiet about this for fear of her not wanting to be my friend anymore. I don’t want to enter arguments with her, but I want to feel free to tell her that I’m not on board with some of her opinions. If that causes her to “cut me loose,” I’ll accept that because I don’t want to betray myself any longer. Hopefully, we can agree to disagree, but if not, what type of friendship did we have anyway? A relationship built upon a house of cards of over-politeness and swallowing one’s self is not a close one anyway.
I’d also like to be more courageous with my family in terms of the way I communicate with them. I’m not all that close with any of my family members and I have distant relationships with most of them. They show little interest in me and often don’t even respond when I send messages to them. When I do interact with certain family members, it’s only about them and other family members, and they don’t ask how I’m doing and what I’m up to.
I keep these patterns going with the way I respond, and it doesn’t feel good to me. It hurts that they seem so disinterested in me and my life. I’m not sure how being more courageous in these instances would look, but I don’t want to maintain the status quo any longer. So, the first step I’m taking is writing about these issues here as a means of planting a proverbial stake in the sand that this is something I’d like to change. And maybe if I ask myself what a courageous person would do as situations arise, I’ll be able to break out of a dysfunctional cycle.
Courage in Trying New Things
Like many middle-aged and older adults, I’ve gotten into a rut in terms of the way I spend my time. I do a lot of the same things repeatedly and don’t engage in the new all that often. The pandemic worsened this situation, and it’s been difficult for me (and I’m sure many others) to take on new hobbies, interests, and pursuits. I sometimes think or talk about shifting gears, but it’s been hard to take the next step and actually do it. I’d love to meet some new people and make a few new friends, but that’s not going to happen spending the bulk of my time either at home alone or with my husband. So, I’d like to be courageous and try some new things this year.
One positive that I can report in this area is that my husband and I have been going to a pub trivia night weekly since last summer. What started as just the two of us has evolved into a nice-sized team of people who attend the trivia nights on a regular basis. More of these people have been from my husband’s side of the equation, but a few people I know have gotten involved, too. It’s also taken some courage for me to get out and do this activity each week when it would be so much easier to just stay home in my comfort zone. As a result, the trivia nights have become one of the highlights of my weeks. I’ve gotten to know some of the other participants – and I’m not half-bad at trivia, either.
I’d like to try a few other new things, too. I’ve often joined Meetup groups and then never attended any meetings, but I want to have the courage to get out the door more this year. I’m not sure what else I’d want to do, but I know that if I start being more open to social interactions, I’ll find some to try, including volunteer opportunities and various types of classes. My social anxiety usually stops me from getting out and trying new things, but I want to “feel the fear and do it anyway” and make it happen.
Conclusion
Those are some thoughts about how I’d like to become more courageous this year. And who knows… Perhaps if I exercise more courage in 2024, I’ll also gain increased clarity about what’s next for me in life. I no longer hold any grandiose notions for what I’d like to do and achieve. I just want to feel happy and fulfilled, which can be more about the small pleasures and pursuits in life rather than the lofty goals that I used to hold (and feel bad when I wouldn’t achieve them).
I don’t want to have regrets in life. I don’t want to come to the end of my life and lament not having truly lived because I was too afraid to take risks and be true to myself. I don’t want the months and years to simply blend together such that all of a sudden, I’m old and wonder where the time has gone. That’s already happened to me to some extent, and I want to stop that trajectory now before I’m my parents’ ages (79 and 80). I know that I’m by no means even guaranteed that I will reach those ages, so I need to do my best to live my life more fully now. While it’s true that I don’t have a clear vision for what that looks like, I can take bold and brave “mini-steps” now and in the coming months, and that’s what I plan to do.
Your Thoughts?
I hope you enjoyed this post and gotten value from it. Now, I’d love to hear from you, whether it’s about what I’ve shared in today’s essay or about your own word/theme for 2024. If you’ve selected a word of the year, feel free to tell me and your fellow readers what it is, why you selected it, and how it’s impacting your life thus far.
If you haven’t chosen a 2024 theme yet, it’s not too late! The year is only a quarter of the way through, so you still have plenty of time for a powerful word to help you grow and evolve before December 31 rolls around.
If you have thoughts or advice related to my courage theme, I’m open to that as well. I’m especially interested in how you’ve been able to navigate relationships with family and friends bravely and true to who you are. Also, if you’re a recovering people pleaser, I’d love to read some tips for how to let go of worrying about what others think. This has been a big Achilles’ heel for me for so long and I’d love to nip it in the bud.
Finally, if you want to debrief how you did with your 2023 theme and/or goals, I welcome that, too. Yes, we’re already in April, but celebrating “wins” and learning from our experiences is always worthwhile and timely. And a bonus is that others can and do learn from what readers share here.
My Wardrobe, Myself 
Dear Debbie,
Courage was my word for last year. I’m also a people pleaser and it cost me dearly in many areas of my life. It took a lot of courage for me to maintain a very low contact with my parents and no contact with my brother. I’m on a tightrope as my daughter wants to see her grandparents more often. I’ve also reduced contact with few other people without explanation, simply engaging less often and not getting emotionally involved. I don’t know if they noticed the difference, but I don’t care anymore. I was also more of a giver, but when I needed something, there wasn’t anything. I still back down with some people and in some situations, especially when I feel it would negatively affect my daughter. I’m not happy about it, but it’s a work in progress. I’ve thought about your last few posts and want to share my experience. My word for 2022 was acceptance. I remember trying some new styles, buying a few garments I ended up not too happy with. I had to remind myself that when I try something new or different, I might not like it and that’s okay. Instead of beating myself about it, I accepted it as a part of the learning process, a sort of a school fee. I hope I was helpful.
Best regards, Jelena
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences, Jelena. I love reading about other people’s words/themes and how they have impacted their lives. Good for you for reducing contact and becoming less engaged with those who don’t make you feel good – and good for you for not caring whether or not those people noticed the difference! I have taken a few steps back with certain people and I’m not sure if they have noticed, but I know that I feel better for having done so.
I love what you wrote about acceptance related to trying new clothing styles. You’re so right that it’s all part of the learning process and we can’t necessarily know in advance how something will work for us. Great reframe to think of it like a school fee!
I think you have already shown much courage here, Debbie. I do feel pain behind much of what you have written and hope very much that your 2024 word will help. It seems too that you perhaps feel a lack of agency in your own life because you use phrases like ‘we’ll see how that takes shape,’ and ‘hopefully this year, I’ll gain …’ Maybe you can live the life you want minute by minute day by day instead of year by year.
You ask how to stop worrying what others think. I had some counselling on that myself and the advice I received relates to what you observe yourself in this essay. Those others you are trying to please are not constantly bothered with who you are or what you are thinking. They’re thinking about them. You think about you.
I enjoy reading your blog. I feel you are a kindred spirit. Accepting that everyone is not like people like us has been very freeing for me. I hope it can be for you too. I wish you every ounce of courage this year so that you can really realise that. All the best!
You are quite astute, Sue. I DO feel a lack of agency in certain ways. That coupled with not being sure WHAT to do leads me to feeling stuck sometimes. Living minute to minute or day to day can be helpful. Maybe I just need to ask myself how a courageous person would act on a given day and see how that impacts my life. I like the advice you received regarding how to stop worrying about what others think. I need to remind myself of the fact that most of those people aren’t thinking about me at all!
I appreciate your kind words about me and my blog, as well as your wishes for me!
I pray you will begin to have the courage to wear what expresses you!! It starts with a few pieces for example a bold silver necklace you mentioned.!! As it comes to your family just don’t contact them first!! This will be very difficult for you but I promise the will eventually contact you!! When they ask why they haven’t heard from you just tell them you’ve been busy!! I was a peole pleaser when y husband and I married but when my husband saw how eople were miss treating me he said no more!! He then gave me advice (same I’m giving you!!) and I did what he said and all is better in so many ways 34 years later!!! Natalie K
It sounds like your husband is very supportive, Natalie, which is so wonderful. There are some members of my family who haven’t contacted me in a LONG time even though I haven’t contacted them, but at least I don’t feel like I’m beating my head up against a brick wall! As for clothing, I have already seen shifts in terms of wearing what I want to wear. Sometimes I feel a little nervous that others will judge me for not being trendy or adventurous enough with my clothing, but it matters more that I’m happy with what I have on. After all, I want to be engaged in what I’m doing, not fretting about clothes that just aren’t me!
So true!!
Hi Debbie,
I’ve never commented on any of your posts, so today I’m exercising some courage and doing so…! I really enjoyed it. I’m close to your age and I can relate with every single thing you shared. I really, really loved what you said about being brave enough to express yourself through what you wear more often. I’ve felt that way for a long time, but reading your thoughts about it has been so inspiring. Thank you so much.
Take care,
Gail
Welcome, Gail, and congrats on having the courage to make a comment! I’m so glad this post resonated with you and was inspiring. I always feel good to know that my writing has a positive effect on others. I hope you will be brave enough to express yourself more fully through your clothing this year. I know it’s not easy to buck the trends, but I know that I feel much better when I’m being true to myself.
You know, Debbie, I believe I’ve been following you now for a decade! As a longtime reader, I will tell you that whenever we hear from you, it’s a good day. It is heartening to know that your blog following is important to you…it shows in your writing…but I can assure you that when you took that break and even changed the format/themes a tad, I was glad you stayed true to yourself. After all, we follow it because YOU have something valuable to offer us. You will do that well, in my view, if you remain authentic to your feelings and emotions whether about how you’ve evolved in your shopping and dressing, growing out your gray hair, or leaning into aging.
When I first began following you, I was or had just the big 5-0…add a decade to that now. I am ASTOUNDED that I, Cathy Burch (my childhood name), am 60, although of course it’s better than the alternative. Over that time, you helped in a number of ways: because of a link on your blog, I embraced minimalism (TheMinimalists.com) and have culled thousands of items from my home! I now have space between the hangers in my closet – an absolute feat – and am nearing the sweet spot of liking and able to wear nearly every piece of my wardrobe. It is SUCH a good feeling. (I do still have the challenge of not replacing everything when I rid myself of it, and the struggle is real.) For the past three years, I have embraced a 12-step program with fervor and while always will be recovering from my -ism, I have made great strides in my emotional and spiritual journey. Finally, I am better at accepting my son’s disabilities and intractable epilepsy; he turns 21 in June and I’m facing his adulthood with less resentment and more anticipation than ever before. It is a difficult journey for our family but we will prevail.
I have finally determined the type of “fashionista” I seek to be, and it is one of colorful playfulness with some elegance thrown in for professional and dressy occasions. While Talbots remains my mainstay for staples like pants, shorts, and tees, Johnny Was’ boho-chic vibe has become my go-to for dresses and blouses to wear for my more business-casual attire. My home attire is essentially pants from Athleta with tees from traveling and Lacoste shirts for Target runs and dropping and picking up my kid from school. Sounds expensive but all these brands as well as Kate Spade are items I find on eBay, Poshmark, and sale on sales at the retailers themselves. Because I’m trying to buy fewer items, I have more disposable income to spend on the higher-quality items. I’m pretty satisfied with my wardrobe at this time.
Thank you for all you’ve done for me in my journey this past decade, Debbie. I still don’t see myself embracing the gray any time soon, but If so, I’ll go back to your archives for those lessons learned!
Your comment actually brought tears to my eyes, Catherine. Thank you so much for letting me know that my blog has made a difference in your life, and thank you for following me for a decade! You’re probably one of my longest-term readers (but some of the other commenters have been with me a long time, too). I appreciate your validation for my writing what most calls to me at any given time – and that readers will still follow me with changing topics and even if I sometimes take a break.
I often can’t believe how old I am now, either, as I don’t FEEL like 57! Time marches on, and it can sometimes feel like it sprints on… I’m glad I led you to The Minimalists. They’ve made a big difference in my life, too! I’m so happy for you that you are approaching the sweet spot of loving and wearing everything in your wardrobe. That is no small feat, as I write about here! I appreciate your sharing about your style and how it’s manifesting these days. I would rather buy fewer but better quality items, too. I do that MORE often, but improvement is still needed.
Congrats on the progress you’ve made in the rest of your life, too. It sounds like you have some big challenges, but you have a great attitude and seem to be doing well. I wish you more of the same!
Debbie, I wholly agree with Catherine. You have created a beautiful ripple effect on the lives of so many of us. Thank you.
Thank you Debbie for an insightful post. I haven’t selected a word or theme for 2024 but I am throwing some ideas around in my head. I did select a word a few years back as part of a women’s group challenge but I don’t remember what it was now!
Okay, first – I loved your reflections about wearing what you really want to wear. I know I have shared with you in the past about my time in the Dressing Your Truth community. Unfortunately, what initially was a program that I loved became more cult like and I found myself buying things that I didn’t need or didn’t even really like (color, cut, etc..). I had gotten rid of many things over the years but I also saved a lot of clothing. Once I deprogrammed myself and validated that I am a big girl and I can wear what I want, I went through bags and closets and pulled out things that I truly loved to wear. My wardrobe is not any particular ‘type’ but rather a collection of styles, colors and fabrics that I prefer. I know that the founder and her experts have helped many women but I felt like she did a great deal of harm in her later interactions with me (mainly because I was supposedly mis-typed after years of being in one of the type groups). I had to really take a step back and say, whoa – wait one moment – I am the boss of me and I will wear what I want. AND I know myself better than any person on the planet.
I sensed a lot of reflection about the years to come in your writing. This has been an interesting/weird/etc? year for me. I turned 61 last December. My mother died when she was 61 so I have just felt this sense of urgency all year. It was a sobering realization of how young my mother was when she passed. I know that I am not my mother and my situation is different but you can’t help to reflect on the mortality of life. My friend and I were laughing on our walk recently – we often live as though we will be here forever when the reality is that none of us are getting out of here alive. I, too, have been reflecting on what I want to do in the next 10 to 20 years. I have worked as a self employed person for years and this year, while doing my tax preparation paperwork – realized that I made almost 3K less in gross income than last year. I feel like I worked more hours and had more clients but apparently, I was mistaken, haha… My job requires a lot of evening hours and I am just feeling weary and not sure that I want to continue doing it anymore. I have a potential teaching candidate so that gave me hope that I could turn over some of this to her if I retire. I can’t imagine walking away from this work but my perspective is beginning to change on this. I have never made much for this venture and I know that money does not necessarily equate to success but it is really hard when I calculate my expenses and look at net income each year. We still have a lot of credit card debt to deal with so I feel like I should never retire but maybe there is something else that I could do that would not take the incredible time commitment that my current job does.
I want to spend time on strengthening relationships with our adult children. I feel close to them but I would like to do more.
Anyway, thanks as always for your honestly and sharing. I really appreciated your post.
Good to hear from you, Susan. I remember you writing about Dressing Your Truth in the past. While I believe there are some great benefits to that program, I share your criticisms of it, too. I’m sorry to hear that you had negative interactions with the founder. I think the program really only appealed to me because it validated the way I already wanted to dress (Type 4), but I didn’t like feeling like I was “bad” if I wore any other colors or styles. Yes, we should all be the boss of ourselves and wear what we want! Guidelines and advice can be helpful, but things can definitely become too dogmatic…
Thank you for sharing about how you’ve been feeling having turned 61 related to your mother. I don’t have that same sort of tragedy in my life, but I have been more in touch with my mortality in recent years. Interestingly, my mother (who is about to turn 80) seems to act as if she will be around forever, whereas I am reflecting more on the finiteness of time and life. I think it’s good that you’re thinking deeply about your work and what you want from it, even though such ruminations are scary for you. I hope you will gain clarity on the path you want to take soon. I also hope you will be able to strengthen your relationships with your adult children more this year.
This is a beautifully written, thoughtful, insightful, brave, post Debbie. Thank you for sharing openly. I relate strongly to every word you have offered here.
And you have opened the door for me to begin considering taking a few steps back, instead of going forward. I have a tendency to push myself forward when I’m feeling stuck in the mud for long periods. But right now I think the mud is a good place for me to rest. Before the pandemic, and before my husband began to experience multiple serious health issues, and before we moved to a new city in 2021, I was far more extroverted than I am now. Is it even possible to go from extrovert to introvert? Apparently it is because I’m introverted now and must push myself to live, think and behave as I did in years past.
My clothing and how I want to dress myself fits right into what you have described. When I’m feeling extroverted I dress freely without worry about what others think. But my new introverted self wants to stay within a certain comfort zone and not take risks. My new high rise, relaxed wide leg jeans are a good example. I can only wear them when my confidence is high, and I have given myself permission to view them as a costume, to wear only on days when my energy is high, but not as a part of my regular wardrobe. Other days I only wear jeans and other clothes that I’m 100% comfortable wearing. And I have removed everything else in my closet that causes me stress. I just need to be in a safe zone for a while, a period of calm.
Like you, I’ve also placed myself in new social situations in order to make new friends in my new city. After reading your post I’m beginning to understand that in order to feel confident right now I do need to wear only clothing that I feel comfortable wearing, and my clothing comfort zone is a good place to remain!
I have four words I’m focusing on in 2024. Love. Connection. Self Care. Change.
I’ve experienced soooo much change in the past four years, I’m leaning into love, connection and self care to help me move though all of these changes I’ve experienced, and the new changes that are bound to happen next.
I’m glad you weighed in on this post, Terra, and I love your four words for 2024! I know you’ve experienced a great deal of change in recent years, which has impacted probably all of your life (or at least most of it). I hope your husband’s health is a lot better now, and I hope you’re feeling more settled in your new home/town.
I do think people can move up and down the introvert/extrovert scale. I know that I’ve become more introverted in recent years because I spend so much time alone, although I’ve always been an introvert. I loved reading about how the way you dress is impacted by how extroverted you feel at any given time. I’ve never thought about it that way, but it makes sense. For me, if I’m not happy in what I’m wearing, I feel even MORE introverted and like I want to crawl up inside myself. If I’m happy in what I’m wearing, I feel more confident and am able to bring out the extroversion that doesn’t come naturally to me. In my case, wearing new styles tends to make me feel LESS confident, as I’m not yet comfortable in them. I feel more confident in my tried-and-true colors, styles, and silhouette (and of course the way my hair is or isn’t “working” comes into play, too).
I like the perspective of wearing certain clothing as a “costume,” and I also like that you have removed all clothing that causes you stress from your closet. I need to do the same! I don’t think I have A LOT in there that stresses me out, but what does fit that description needs to at least be moved to a holding zone, if not out of my home altogether.
Wishing you all the best in 2024. I think your words for the year will help to guide you along the way.
Thank you Debbie. I posted my comment on a day when I was feeling extroverted enough to actually write and post a comment! Yet please know that I also have days when I want to crawl up inside myself and can’t reach out at all, and I appreciate this safe space you are offering.
What a fine community space you have provided for us all to gather and reflect. Over the years you have made it possible for me to meet so many wonderful people, many that I’m friends not only on the page, but also in real life. This is your gift. Thank you. I know that you will follow your heart and feel free to journey and write in whatever space that calls you forward in the future. Yet always know that where ever you decide to go, your gift of connecting good people will follow you, and will always be of great value.
Beautifully stated!