My Wardrobe, Myself

With less than two weeks until the end of the year, this is a good time for me to review my best and worst purchases of 2024. This is a practice that I’ve been doing for many years now, as it’s helpful to review what has and hasn’t worked out for me in terms of my shopping. Although it’s often quite obvious why some of the “worsts” fit into that category, it’s also beneficial to analyze the “bests” to hopefully learn from them, too. This will be a two-part series, with the second part going live before the end of the month.

In the past, I usually shared my best purchases first, but I’m going to turn that around this year because I’d rather end on a high note in case part two ends up being my final post of 2024. Although I’d like to publish another essay after that one before December 31, that may end up happening in early January instead. I’ll just have to see how it goes, as everyone seems to be busier around the holidays, and I haven’t been that great at posting content this year overall despite my best intentions!

My Five Worst Purchases of the Year

Okay, let’s dive right in… Fortunately, my track record was better with my shopping this year, so there aren’t as many “worsts” for me to lament as in some previous years. However, I wish I would have taken a pass on the following five items:

I’ll go through the above pieces one by one and share why I placed them into the “worsts” category. It may not be readily apparent why these items didn’t work out for me, but it will quickly become clear through my descriptions. I’ll run through the worst purchases from left to right, top to bottom, and I’ll show pictures of each item again individually so you won’t have to scroll back up to the top to see what I’m talking about.

Black Print Short-Sleeved Turtleneck

This was a case of loving two aspects of an item and ignoring other facets of it. I loved the black print and the price of this top. I’m a bit embarrassed to say that it was purchased at an end-of-season sale, as I’ve made a number of previous mistakes in such scenarios. But it was at the beginning of the year (as were all but one of these worst purchases), before I did my blog series on becoming more selective with my shopping (starting with this post).

What I wasn’t a big fan of with this item were the turtleneck and the fabrication. Although I used to wear turtlenecks frequently when I lived in a cooler climate, I no longer like to have fabric touching my neck, as I find it “stifling.” The fabric was a type of mesh, which made it “flimsy” and caused it to not stay in place. If there had been some spandex incorporated into the fabric, that might have been better, but the neckline should have been a deal-breaker nonetheless.

This top is a reminder to me that I need to like or love all aspects of an item or else I should pass it up, regardless of the price. After all, even the lowest price is far from a “deal” if the item rarely or never gets worn.

 

Black Slip-on Sneakers

I’ve had a pair of more streamlined black sneakers on my shopping priorities list for quite some time, but I didn’t really prioritize making that purchase. When I saw the below pair of black slip-on sneakers at a discount store while visiting my mom in September, I tried them on and liked them. They’re actually quite comfortable and look nice on my feet, but they have a problem that I didn’t notice in the store. These sneakers squeak really badly, especially when walking on a hard surface (the store was carpeted).

I’m not sure if there’s any way to remedy squeaky shoes, but the sneakers are currently unwearable as they are. They weren’t all that expensive (none of my “worsts” were), but I still feel bad that they have a deal-breaker issue. If any of you have suggestions for getting rid of the squeakiness, please share. I haven’t done an exhaustive web search yet, but I also haven’t worn the shoes outside of my home!

What I learned from this bad purchase is that I need to walk around more in shoes before deciding to buy or keep them. If I’m unable to do so in the store, I need to make sure to give shoes a decent test-drive at home well within the return period. Even though I purchased the sneakers when I was out of town, I could have returned them locally, but I didn’t discover the problem until the return window had closed (most current return policies are now just thirty days, so we need to be on the ball with our returns!).

Black Windbreaker Jacket

I had tried on this black windbreaker jacket in a store several months earlier, but didn’t buy it at the time. I really needed a tall size, but the jacket ran large and the smallest tall size was still too big on me. When the jacket went on sale for a very low price, I stupidly believed that a size down in the regular size range would work fine for me. Well, it didn’t… Both the sleeves and the overall length were too short, and I wasn’t able to return the jacket because it was final sale.

This is a mistake that I’ve made too many times! I fall prey to a “great deal,” and that leads me to lower my standards. While I don’t always need tall sizes for toppers, in this case I really did. I wish retailers would either stop vanity sizing or offer smaller size options in their tall ranges. It’s frustrating because they often offer smaller sizes in bottoms but not the tops and jackets.

Don’t they realize that the women who need those smaller bottoms might also require smaller tops and toppers? I don’t even need the smallest sizes in bottoms, but I often do need smaller sizes on top. I also think that vanity sizing is more extreme for tops – and the current trends are also more oversized, which isn’t my preference.

Anyway, I’m angry at myself for this mistake, but I did send this jacket and some other new-with-tags pieces to ThredUp (as I wrote about in my last post), so maybe I’ll receive some level of compensation for them (although I know it probably won’t be much). But I think I should mostly avoid final sale purchases in the future, with the only possible exception being when I’m able to try things on in person and appropriately evaluate the fit.

Blue Denim-Look Pants

These jeans-like trousers were some of the most comfortable pants that I’ve ever tried on. They look very much like jeans, but they feel like the type of comfy pants that I wear around the house. These pants looked great on me from the front, but they were not flattering in the back, which is a common problem for me. The waistband came up too high in the back, and there was extra fabric “pooling” under my rear end (another common issue for me).

I noticed the fit issue right away after trying on the pants at home (they were an online purchase), but the comfort and low price had me wanting to make them work, against my better judgment. So, I kept the pants and vowed to only wear them with a long topper so the back wouldn’t be visible. I really don’t like doing this, though, because what if I get hot? I don’t want to own problematic pants that have “contingency plans” for wearing them.

What’s worse than the fact that I bought these pants is that I tried to “fix” the bad back view issue through alterations, thereby throwing good money after bad. I mostly only get easy, standard alterations done now (i.e. hemming, taking in the sides of tops and toppers, and taking in the waistband of pants/jeans), so it’s rare for me to experience the types of “alterations casualties” that were all-too-common for me back in the days of Recovering Shopaholic (see this post for some sad examples). However, I count these pants as a casualty because the attempted “fix” didn’t solve the problem of the bad back view.

I still have these pants, but I rarely wear them. Even if it’s a cold day, there are many times when I go inside, overheat, and want to remove a jacket or cardigan (middle-aged woman problems…). I could still see wearing the pants when I’m going to be outdoors or in a cool location, but I plan not to purchase pants like this in the future. Although I never seem to get a perfect fit with the back of my pants, I can usually get a decent enough fit so as not to be embarrassed of what it looks like. I really wish gravity had been kinder to my back side, but the ravages of aging come for everyone, albeit often in different ways…

Red Velvet Blazer

I saved what was probably my worst purchase for last. The reason I’ve assigned that moniker to this red velvet blazer is that in addition to its other issues (which I’ll get to later), I have virtually no occasion to wear such a piece in my life. Not only is the jacket too dressy for my usual activities, I very rarely go to parties or dressy events. While I could potentially wear it to one holiday party per year or perhaps on Valentine’s Day (if we go out), that’s not really a good enough reason for me to purchase a jacket that also had fit issues and required alterations.

I was encouraged to buy this jacket by a friend, but I take responsibility for making the final decision myself. My friend didn’t think my perceived fit issue (flaring out too much at the bottom) was really a problem, but it bothered me and I knew it would probably be costly to remedy because of the construction of the jacket. The blazer was purchased at an end-of-season sale (I know, I know…), so I wasn’t able to return it.

I never did the alteration, either, because I realized that I would rarely wear the jacket. I decided that it wasn’t worth paying for tailoring that ran a risk of not being successful. I plan to list this blazer for sale, along with a small handful of other pieces. But since my luck with selling clothing online has declined, I may have to end up donating it.

I loved the idea of a red velvet blazer, but it’s not a practical piece for my life. My friend who was with me has a more active social life than I do, so she could probably see wearing an item like this in her life. She also thought the jacket looked good on me, but I had some serious reservations that I should have taken heed of.

I can exercise my love of red in more practical ways for my lifestyle, such as by wearing a red top or a red cardigan (both of which I have at least one version of in my closet). I purchased the red velvet blazer for a fantasy life – and a fantasy self, so I regret it. But I do plan to learn from it, as well as from the other mistakes that I outlined in today’s post.

Recovery Can Be a Long and Winding Road…

I want to close out this post by pointing out some common threads among my worst purchases of 2024, as well as the lessons that I’ve learned (and will hopefully heed) from realizing the error of my ways. The common threads – and the associated lessons – are all things that I’ve written about before, some of them many times before. I have to admit that it’s embarrassing to share some of these things on my blog, but it’s always my hope that my openness and honesty will help others to feel less alone – and to avoid walking down the same unproductive roads.

Recovery from compulsive shopping, bad shopping, wardrobe challenges, and the like can be a very topsy-turvy, up-and-down proposition. Just when we think we’ve got it all figured out – or are at least in a much better place, we can backslide and fall back into unproductive behaviors. I know I’m not alone in beating my head up against the same tired walls over and over again. I do feel like I’ve made progress, but I also believe that I continue to do stupid things despite the fact that I should know better by now.

I’m trying to be more compassionate and gentler towards myself about my “failings,” including those related to shopping and my wardrobe. I realize that beating myself up doesn’t produce lasting change; it just leads me to feel worse about myself. However, I do want to be honest with myself and with all of you. This path I’ve been on hasn’t been easy, especially when many of my foibles have been shared in a public forum (although I don’t have as wide of an audience as I once had).

I’m still a “recovering shopaholic” and probably will be for the duration. If I ever delude myself and say or believe that I’m completely over this problem, that’s when I’m most likely to become overconfident and make stupid mistakes. I need to be mindful of the pitfalls in my way and the fact that I use shopping as a coping mechanism for managing my depression and anxiety. Sure, there are more appropriate coping mechanisms I could turn to, but I don’t always use those because shopping can just be so damn compelling.

I’ll have more to say about all of this in the future, but I just wanted to put this out there now for those who can relate to my challenges, as well as for those who might be shaking their heads and thinking, “When will she ever learn?” Perhaps those in the latter group have unsubscribed or stopped checking out my blog by now, but if any of them are still here, I have to say that I ask myself the same question on a regular basis. But what is the alternative but to pick myself up, dust myself off, and carry forward on that topsy-turvy path of recovery?

The Common Threads

Now that I have put out that “disclaimer,” I’ll share the common threads that I’ve noticed among the worst purchases that I covered in today’s essay. These are lessons that I’ve frustratingly had to learn too many times, but hopefully they will sink in this time around!

1. “Sales Goggles” – When the price is low, I tend to ignore aspects of an item that I don’t really like. Would I have purchased a short-sleeved turtleneck in a flimsy mesh fabric at full price? I believe the answer is an unequivocal NO! So, I need to always ask myself, “Would I buy this at full price?” If I can’t give an affirmative answer to that question, I need to put the item down or close my web browser and move on!
2. Loving One or Two Aspects of an Item – Yes, I love red pieces, black prints, and comfortable pants, but I need to also love the other aspects of the items in question. If there are fit issues or if a given item doesn’t fit into my real-life lifestyle, it has no business coming home with me.
3. Buying Final Sale Items – This really needs to be a “just say no” situation almost all the time. If I’m able to try something on in person and appropriately evaluate it (including being able to see the back view) – or if I’ve tried it on previously and didn’t buy it for a good reason (i.e., liking too many things or having already purchased too much recently), it might be acceptable to buy things that I can’t return. But this needs to be a very rare occurrence, and I need to be extremely discerning, which can be harder to do when prices are low. However, it’s just not “a good deal” when an item ends up collecting dust in my closet!
4. Not Paying Close Enough Attention to Return Windows – While it’s not always possible to know for sure if I want to keep something, such as shoes that I can’t “test-drive” all that much in a store, I need to make sure that I fully evaluate a new purchase as soon as possible. With return windows getting smaller and smaller (not to mention far more items becoming “final sale”), it’s all the more important to be on the ball with doing returns in a timely fashion. Had I taken more time to evaluate the sneakers and pants covered above, I would have been able to return them and put the funds toward much better purchases.
5. Not Considering Lifestyle Factors Enough – I bought the red velvet blazer for a fantasy self who doesn’t exist. Sure, in the past I would have had more occasion to wear such a piece, but the current Debbie lives a very casual life in which being at least somewhat “overdressed” is already a common occurrence. I need to use the “art gallery” approach to shopping (originally mentioned by Jill Chivers, who sadly shut down her “Shop Your Wardrobe” website this month) more often when I shop, so I can appreciate pieces without feeling the need to own them.

There may be more common threads than what I mentioned, but I think these are the most important ones. I remember that Marie Kondo said to thank our castoffs (whether they be from our closets or elsewhere) when we pass them on, as they have either given us good service or taught us valuable lessons (or sometimes both).

The items covered in today’s post fall into the lessons category, and I will thank them for what they’ve taught me and move on. I hope that through writing about them, I will not only better cement the lessons for myself, but perhaps also help some readers have an “aha moment” or two. It can be embarrassing for me to air my “dirty laundry” online, but if doing so helps others, it is well worth it in my book!

Your Thoughts – and Happy Holidays!

Now I’d love to hear from you. While I welcome any comments you have about what I’ve shared here, I’d especially like to read about your own experiences. Too bad there’s not the capability to share images in the comments section, but if you’d like to share details about your 2024 worst purchases, please do. If you’d rather wait and share the “bests,” that’s okay, too (and of course you can do both). I’ll be back soon with my own best purchases, and fortunately I’ll have more of them to share!

Since we’re just a few days away from Christmas and I’m not likely to publish my “bests” post before that time, I want to wish all those who celebrate a very Merry Christmas! And since Hanukkah actually starts on Christmas Day this year, I’d also like to extend warm wishes to those who celebrate that holiday. And since I don’t want to leave anyone out, I’ll just close with an inclusive Happy Holidays wish to all. Thank you so much for your readership! Best wishes to you in the final days of 2024. XOXO!