In my last post, I reviewed the first half of my “wardrobe bucket list” items – numbers 1 through 10. In today’s essay, I’ll cover items 11 through 20. As with part one of my update, I’ll briefly recap each task/project and then share the progress I’ve made thus far. I’m glad I decided to do this update series, as it’s helping to remind me of the wardrobe-related tasks that I hope to complete during 2023. I’ve made great progress on some of the tasks, while I haven’t even started others on the list. Hopefully checking in here with you will help motivate me to complete all the items on my wardrobe bucket list.
11 – Buy Some Full-Length Pants that Aren’t Jeans or Black Pants (PENDING)
I have not yet purchased additional full-length pants that are not jeans or black pants. This hasn’t been for lack of trying, but I just haven’t found any pants that work well for me yet. It doesn’t help that so many pants on offer in recent years are cropped in length, and it also doesn’t help that most pants aren’t offered in tall sizes. An additional maddening fact is that what many retailers consider to be long inseams are still cropped on me.
I’m not going to give up hope, though. I’m currently focusing on getting ready for the warmer weather with my wardrobe, but when the fall merchandise arrives in stores and online, I’ll resume my search for two or three pairs of full-length pants that aren’t black or denim. In the meantime, I might opt to have my black-and-white-print palazzo pants (shown in this post under “alternate pants”) taken in so I can wear them this summer. I enjoyed wearing those pants in previous years, but they’ve been too big for me for over a year now and I didn’t wear them at all last summer. The tailoring may be too expensive to do, but I’m going to at least check on that option soon.
12 – Create Outfits Using My New Items that I Haven’t Yet Worn (IN PROCESS, ONGOING)
As some of you may remember, I use “the hanger trick” with my wardrobe. This post explains more about it, but basically what I do is turn all my hangers the opposite direction (hanger pointing outward) at the beginning of each year. Then after I wear an item, I turn its hanger around “the right way” (so that it’s pointing inward). I also do this for any new purchases that I make over the course of the year. When I go to get dressed, I make an effort to wear at least one unworn item. If I’m in a big hurry, I may not do this, but I try to do it as often as I can to make sure that I’m wearing most (and ideally all) of my clothes.
Sadly, I still have a number of new out-and-about pieces from both last year and this year that have yet to be worn, while almost all my new at-home items have been worn multiple times. This underscores the fact that I could easily get by with a much smaller out-and-about wardrobe. While those types of garments may be more fun to shop for, they don’t earn their keep in my closet nearly as much as the clothing that I wear at home and for exercising.
A lot of my unworn out-and-about garments are warm weather items, some of which were purchased at the end of that season last year. Once the summer temperatures begin (likely within the next few weeks), I believe that most of these pieces will make their way out of my closet and out on the town, so to speak.
13 – Buy at Least One New – or Resale – Handbag (PENDING)
I have been waiting to do this until after I list the pile of items that I hope to sell on eBay. As an incentive for getting this laborious and time-consuming task done, my husband agreed to buy me a new handbag once everything has been listed for sale. I plan to work on the listings very soon, once I’ve completed another long-standing task on which I had been procrastinating. I’ve made excellent progress with that project, so hopefully I’ll get going on the listings sometime in July.
Ideally, I’d like to acquire two new handbags this year, as I’m becoming somewhat bored with the two that I’ve been carrying on repeat over the past few years (shown below).
I own several other purses besides the above two, but I don’t love those as much for various reasons. They’re either too small for everyday use (I like to be able to fit a lot of stuff in my bags) or they lack structure or adequate compartments. I have a very good sense now of what I want and need in a handbag, so I’m excited by the thought of acquiring two new ones this year. I’d ideally like to purchase one black bag and one metallic bag, but I’m also open to a bag in one of my favorite colors like red, burgundy, or cobalt.
14 – Find Two New Ways to Wear My Hair, Especially for Summer (PENDING)
I haven’t done anything yet regarding this item, but the warm weather will be here soon and I’ll need to have other alternatives for my hair. I’ve already decided to cut a few inches off at my upcoming haircut next week. My hair has gotten so long as to be unwieldy at times. I went back and looked at old photos of myself, and I determined that my “happy hair length” is probably at least three or four inches shorter than it is now.
If my hair were naturally straight, my current length would likely be just fine, but I flat-iron my hair – and my arms are only so long! It takes me a long time to do my hair at its current length, and I really don’t want to “embrace” my natural texture, which is wavy and frizzy and that just doesn’t jive with my desired style aesthetic. I think if I cut off some length, my hair will be easier to manage and take less time to style, so that will be a good start.
I currently only wear my hair long and tucked behind my ears, in a side ponytail (or sometimes a braid) over my shoulder, or in a high ponytail with a baseball cap (that’s how I wear my hair when I go on my walks). I’m not sure what other options would even appeal to me, but I’m going to check out some YouTube videos to see what else I could possibly do. I don’t like my hair to be too severely pulled back because I feel that makes me look older, but maybe there are some updos that would work with my hair, face, and frame. We shall see…
15 – Buy at Least One Pair of “Fun Pants” (DONE?)
My hope was to purchase a pair of black-and-white-printed pants to replace a beloved cropped pair that’s now too big for me (shown in this post). I haven’t been able to find such pants just yet, but I may opt to have the old pair altered, depending upon the price. I did, however, find the three pants below, which I feel quality as “fun pants”:
While the first pair shown were originally joggers, I had them shortened to cropped pants. They were too short for me as joggers anyway, as they were from the Athleta Girl line and were not offered in tall sizes (the girls’ items are less expensive, and the larger sizes can often fit women who wear sizes XS or S). The pants were on deep sale and are very comfortable. Without the band at the bottom, they’re a nice casual warm weather pant that I’m excited to wear soon.
The cobalt cropped pants were a no-brainer for me to buy, as the Brooklyn ankle pant style fits me well and I of course love the color. I’m excited to wear these pants with my black and black-and-white tops. The blue-gray linen pants are a nice change from the other pants that I own. I don’t have any other linen pants, and this pair is more tailored than most linen pants tend to be. The color is gorgeous in person, and works well with black, black-and-white prints, and various shades of blue (also white, but I don’t wear solid white because it washes me out).
I’d still be open to buying a new pair of black-and-white-printed pants if I find the right pair for me. However, if I’m able to alter the two pairs that I have (cropped slim and full-length palazzo), I’ll be more than fine with what I already own. It just depends upon whether the alterations are easily doable and aren’t too costly.
16 – Read Through My Old Style/Outfit Logs and Summarize the Lessons Learned (IN PROCESS)
I have kept outfit journals on and off for almost ten years now (my original post on this practice is HERE). I don’t do it all the time, but I tend to revisit this practice whenever I feel like I’m in a bit of style rut. I don’t necessarily need to go back and review my earliest style logs, but the ones from the past few years have been enlightening to read. I plan to dedicate at least one future post to recapping some of the lessons I’ve learned from going back to read my old musings, but I’ll share a few tidbits here of what I’ve gleaned from my reviews thus far.
First off, I struggle a lot more with warm weather outfits because I’m not able to rely upon a “third piece” quite as much. While I do often wear toppers in the summer, I want to be able to remove them when it’s hot and still feel like my outfit looks pulled together. I also want to feel emotionally comfortable in what I’m wearing and not feel too “exposed.” It used to be pants that were my most challenging wardrobe item, but good summer tops have become increasingly difficult for me to find. I think part of it is because the more recent top silhouettes are not in line with my personal preferences. The quality of short-sleeved and sleeveless tops has also dramatically declined in recent years.
Another challenge I have is with the proportions of my outfits, especially when I’m not wearing a topper. This is something that I need to work on, as I find that some of my ensembles “cut me in half” because my tops are too long. But I can’t tuck tops in because my torso is very short and it looks “off.” So, I need to experiment with shorter-length tops to pair with my pants when I’m not going to be wearing a topper or may need to take it off. I think that the tops I have for pairing with skirts (a small collection) are too short to wear with my pants, so perhaps I need a “happy medium.” However, it’s possible that some of the tops for skirts might also look good with the few pairs of wider-leg pants that I own.
I plan to work on the above two issues in the coming months, but there are multiple other things that I’ve learned from reviewing my outfit logs. For one, the bucket list item of finding more warm weather hairstyles was derived from reviewing my old style journals, as I frequently complained the my hair was the “weak link” in my ensembles. Hopefully, I’ll be able to improve upon at least some of my defined sartorial issues this year.
17 – Complete “The Closet Clarity Workbook” (IN PROCESS)
It’s fitting that I’ve decided to complete this workbook during my “year of clarity.” I just started working through “The Closet Clarity Workbook” earlier this month, and I’m excited to continue this process. I feel that the workbook was well worth the $20 that I spent on it, and I’m glad I’m finally taking the time to respond to the questions and do the exercises. I’m sure I’ll be writing more about this in the future, but I’ll share a little bit here of what the workbook includes. It starts out with questions about my current style versus my desired style, as well as what I like and don’t like about my wardrobe. I was asked to delve into what my favorite and least favorite pieces are – and why. I was also asked to outline what some of my best and worst purchases have been over the past year.
Future exercises in the workbook include creating a style vision board and putting together outfits that are in line with my ideal style. I’ll also be putting together “modules” (like mini capsules) from my closet and then creating outfits using those modules. There are also specific style challenges for me to complete as I progress through the workbook. Some of what’s in The Closet Clarity Workbook is in line with exercises I’ve done previously, but it’s worth repeating certain tasks at different points in our lives. It will take some time to complete the workbook, but I’m glad that I got started, and I’m already learning a lot about myself and my wardrobe through the process. If you’re in any sort of “style rut” or are bored with your wardrobe, I highly recommend this workbook. I don’t get any sort of kickbacks from making this recommendation, but I do think it might be beneficial to some of you.
18 – Pare My Holding Zone Back Down to One Box (MOSTLY COMPLETED)
Although I maintained a holding zone of a single plastic bin for many years, I expanded to two bins last year following weight loss. I didn’t want to let go of my larger-sized garments too hastily, as I knew it was possible that I might regain some of the weight. So, I allowed myself one bin for my out-and-about clothing and another for my at-home pieces. While I have plenty of space to store two holding zone bins indefinitely, my preference is to get back down to a single bin, which is why I added this task to my 2023 wardrobe bucket list.
Since I created my bucket list, I’ve gone through the contents of my holding zone a couple of times. Each time, I asked myself if I would want to wear the items in the bin now if they fit me well. This questioning enabled me to let go of multiple pieces that were no longer in line with my evolving style preferences. I also tried everything on to evaluate how close they might be to fitting my current body. Since I don’t weigh myself due to my eating-disordered history, I don’t know how much my weight might have fluctuated, but I think I might have regained several pounds. This didn’t really change how the items in the bin fit me, but it did make me want to hang on to anything that I still liked and would be interested in wearing.
Following a few holding zone reviews, I’m almost back down to a single bin. Besides the bin (which now includes both out-and-about and at-home items), I also have a small pile of clothes that I’ve designated for potential alterations. This pile includes mostly dresses and pants, and I’m not going to alter them all at once. I’m not even sure that I will have everything in the pile tailored, as it depends upon the cost and difficulty of the alterations. If something might be too costly to alter, I’ll probably put it back in the bin for the time-being or potentially opt to pass it on.
I probably won’t keep anything for more than two or three years if it doesn’t fit me, but I’m not going to make any hard-and-fast rules about it. When I gained weight during menopause, I held on to anything that I’d be excited to wear if it fit me again. Over time, I gradually passed on most of the too-small pieces, mostly because I couldn’t see myself ever wearing them again. And some of the garments that ended up fitting me again last year still got passed on because I no longer loved how I looked and felt in them. For one, some of the pants were lower-rise than I now like to wear (I now prefer a mid-to-high rise). I suspect the same thing might happen with the too-large clothes, or I may keep the weight off long enough for me to feel that I no longer need to hang on to pants that are a size or two larger than what I currently wear. We shall see… I’ll check in again regarding my holding zone later in the year.
19 – Solve the “Droopy Pants” Problem (IN PROCESS)
Pants that are too baggy in the rear are a common problem for me. Sometimes a pair of pants will fit great everywhere else, but they’ll sag in the derriere area. This has led me to wear longer tops and toppers to cover up the bagginess, which has contributed to many of my outfits having bad proportions. This is especially a problem during the summer months, when it’s either too hot to wear a topper or when I’ll likely take my toppers on and off frequently throughout the day.
I’m determined to dress with better proportions and to also become less self-conscious about my back side. Sometimes the self-consciousness is because certain pants accentuate my wider hips and thighs in the back view, so I’ve decided not to buy any more of these types of pants. I’ll keep some of the ones I have if they’re comfortable and/or stylish, but I’ll only wear them when I know I can wear a topper all day long. But for any new pants that I buy, I need to be comfortable with how they look from both the front and the back.
My self-consciousness sometimes relates to bagginess in the back of my pants, however, so I’m going to try to mitigate that as much as possible. In some instances, I’ve been able to shrink the pants in the dryer (I can only do this with cropped pants, though, where a bit shorter length is okay). In other cases, a simple alteration can fix the problem, but it’s trickier to do with jeans. I bit the bullet and opted to get a favorite pair of jeans taken in at the seat and at first, I thought I had made a mistake in doing this. The jeans felt overly tight when I first put them on, but they loosened up with wear and now look and feel great. I may have the same alteration done on another pair of jeans, but it’s possible those may not be a good candidate because of how they’re made.
I’m proceeding slowly with alterations because I’ve made quite a few tailoring mistakes in the past (some of which were highlighted in this 2016 post). In some situations, all I need to do is wash the pants after each time I wear them, even if it’s just for a few hours. Putting the pants in the dryer has also been helpful, but I’m very hesitant to do this with full-length pants or jeans because I usually need all the length I can get! I’m only going to get alterations done if the other methods don’t work, but I definitely don’t want to struggle with the droopy pants problem any longer! I’ll check back in on this issue later in the year, as I’m about to enter the period when wearing a topper isn’t as much of a “given” as it’s been for the past six months.
20 – Create a Few “Beauty Bundles” (PENDING)
This last bucket list item is another one that I haven’t done much about just yet. Although I’ve been making an effort to wear more of the accessories that I own, I haven’t given much consideration to pulling together specific “bundles.” I completely see the value in doing so, though, so I’m going to get started on it soon. Perhaps dedicating a blog post to this task will propel me to get underway with it.
The easiest bundles for me to pull together will be black and metallic ones. In fact, I can see myself creating two or three bundles for each of these color schemes. In order to create beauty bundles in other colors like red, burgundy, or blue, I may need to make a few targeted purchases, but I’m going to try to work with what I have first. Because my shoes and purses are mostly black and metallic, I probably won’t include those items in the colored bundles, but if I create a bundle that includes both jewelry and scarves, that might be cohesive enough. I do own both red sandals and burgundy boots, though, so those items can be incorporated into bundles.
If I end up liking to wear non-neutral shoes more often, I may opt to purchase another pair or two in the fall or early next year. But I’m going to see how I do with the bundle concept first. I hope that putting together the bundles will help me to incorporate more color with my accessories and add more visual interest to my outfits. I plan to review posts from Brenda Kinsel and Imogen Lamport for some good ideas. Just simply scrolling through Imogen’s post right now is already highlighting the value of bright shoes and bags, so I might opt to shift my longtime practice of owning mostly black and metallics in those wardrobe categories.
Conclusion
This concludes my two-part series reviewing my 2023 wardrobe “bucket list.” As you can see, it’s been a “mixed bag” in terms of my completion of the tasks I created back in February (see this post and this one for full descriptions of each bucket list item). I’m glad I took the time to do this mid-year review, as it’s helped me to recognize the progress I’ve already made, as well as remind me of what I’d like to do before the year is over.
I can see the value in doing all twenty of my bucket list items, as each one targets an important area of my wardrobe and style. Even if I don’t complete all the tasks by the end of 2023, I still plan to do them, as I believe do so will make a profound difference with my wardrobe, style, and shopping. I’ll be publishing some posts related to individual bucket list items in the coming months, and I’ll also return with another overall update sometime before the end of the year.
Your Thoughts?
I didn’t get much feedback on part one of my update, but I’d still love for you to weigh in however you’d like on this two-part series. Below are a few questions to help you formulate your thoughts, but as usual, you’re welcome to share whatever you’d like.
- What style-related tasks would you like to complete before the end of the year?
- How has your style changed so far this year? How would you like it to shift before the end of 2023?
- What have been your favorite – or least favorite – purchases this year?
- What summer style challenges do you have, and how have you addressed them (or plan to address them)?
As you can see, I broadened the scope of my questions a bit, as we’re moving into summer now (in the northern hemisphere) and we’re also approaching the halfway point of the year. While I’d love to “hear” how you’re doing with any style goals or wardrobe bucket list items that you have, I’d also be interested in whatever you want to share about your style shifts, your summer style, and your 2023 purchases. Thank you for reading, and I’ll be back soon with another post (probably about a few style challenges that I’ve been experiencing lately).
My Wardrobe, Myself 
The term “beauty bundles” brings to mind the amazing Brenda Kinsel. I love revisiting the pages of her beautiful book, Fashion Makeover. And I’ve collected several inspirational and informative posts from Imogen.
It sounds like you are doing really well in figuring out what you would like to add to your wardrobe and going about finding those additions thoughtfully. And thank you for the reminder of the importance of emotional comfort.
I recently added some confusion to my thoughts on what does and doesn’t work for me, which I hope will eventually lead to better choices. This is all a result of a recent color analysis.
Some background. My first color analysis was performed by a very experienced “Color Me Beautiful” consultant almost 20 years ago. We went back and forth between “Light Summer” and “Light Spring” for hours. Finally, she settled on “Light Spring.” Exhausted, after working for eight hours before that appointment, I agreed. But afterward, I wondered if the “Light Summer” colors might’ve been a better fit. The “Light Spring” palette felt a bit bright and almost “hot” to me. So, I’ve since gravitated toward cooler colors, and ideally, colors with some warmth and some coolness, colors that are listed for both seasons. I’ve also leaned toward softer colors. (This might be due to my personality. I tend to try to fly a bit low under the radar.)
Anyway, before heading to my recent color analysis with “House of Color,” I (lightheartedly) said to my husband, “She better not tell me I’m a Spring!” On the way there, I joked with my sister and my sister-in-law about being an “anomaly.” And sure enough, at first, the HOC seemed a little stumped but ultimately declared me a Spring! I’m giving my swatches a try and rethinking and (as usual) overthinking how I want to proceed with the temperatures and intensity of my future color choices. (I don’t wear dark colors by my face.)
I don’t think everyone fits into a slot. At least, I don’t. There’s a lot of room between cool and warm, light and dark, soft and bright, and I don’t think most “systems” recognize that. And our personalities and color preferences also matter.
I’ve read that Jen, from The Everyday Style School, believes/has read that 7% of the population has neutral coloring. I think I may be one of them, slightly leaning one way or the other.
But I will possibly grow from the experience of my recent color analysis in that I am willing to consider that I may lean warm (instead of cool) and should seek more clarity than softness in future color selections.
Anyway, I just ordered and printed The Closet Clarity Workbook as I am experiencing confusion even beyond colors. I’ll be interested in hearing more about your experience as you work through the notebook, Debbie.
By the end of the year, I would like to get some clarity on the colors I want to see in my wardrobe, among other things… I would say my style (and lifestyle) continues to become more casual. My favorite piece so far this year is a chore jacket of sorts from Talbots (called a shirt/jacket) in a color called Sandstone. It’s not as masculine as some of those jackets are. The color is a light, warm, khaki tan. I love everything about it. My summer challenges are my saggy upper arms (despite exercise), veiny legs, and a rear end that was never much to begin with and at 64, has all but disappeared.
Hi Jenn, Good to see you comment here! I appreciate your thorough response. I have enjoyed revisiting some of Brenda Kinsel’s posts. I’m glad her blog is still up and running. It’s still hard to believe she’s gone, but her wonderful work lives on.
It sounds like you’ve had quite a journey when it comes to color analysis. I have never had an official color analysis, but it’s something I’ve thought about doing. I worry, though, that I might be told that my favorite colors don’t suit me as well as I thought (at which point I’d have to decide if I want to keep wearing them, kind of like what you’re going through now). I agree with you that not everyone fits into a slot in the color systems. The systems can point us in a direction, but I’m not sure if we need to adhere to our “season” like gospel. I feel like maybe I have moved from a winter to a summer with my hair color change, as I don’t feel that some of the super-saturated colors work as well for me. Or maybe I’m just a different type of winter?
It sounds like you might be one of those people with neutral coloring, which may mean that MORE colors work for you, which would be nice. I think you have a good attitude for how to approach your recent color analysis result. “Trying on” the swatches will help you to see how you feel about them, and maybe you’ll choose to embrace some and not others. I understand about the tendency to overthink (guilty, as charged!), but hopefully you’ll get to a place soon with color that feels right to you.
I look forward to hearing about your experience with The Closet Clarity Workbook. I will definitely share more of my thoughts as I progress through it, but I’ve found it helpful thus far – with lots more to come!
I totally relate to your hair situation. I love having long hair but there’s definitely a point (just past the shoulder blades I think) where the styling process is too time consuming and hard on my weak arms. I just got 4 inches chopped off and once I get used to it I think I will appreciate the relative ease of styling.
I don’t have a bucket list, or even any sort of plan, since it’s been more than a year of not knowing what size I was currently or would be next week or next month. I am not dealing with the uncertainty very well I’m afraid.
However, I am very slowly starting to face reality about the body I used to have, and over the weekend I moved ALL of my fitted shirts and smaller size pants to another closet which I guess will serve as my “holding zone” until I can bear to let them go. Next I have to deal with many pairs of nice shoes that my aged feet can’t manage.
At the same time, I’m buying things I never imagined I would need, at least not for another decade or two: multiple pairs of “comfort shoes,” very loose tunics, and of all things, a short dress for bicycling. I haven’t worn a short dress (or ridden a bike for that matter) since 1982.
I think my main wardrobe goal now is to understand what I can wear that fits and is comfortable, and then try to develop a new mental image of myself so it’s not such a shock when I look in the mirror.
As always, it’s great to see you comment here, Katrina! Good for you for cutting off some of your hair to help make your life easier. My haircut appointment is on Friday and I’m still considering how much to cut off… I agree that just past the shoulder blades is the point at which styling becomes more difficult. I haven’t had hair as long as it is now for YEARS. My hair used to break off a lot back when I dyed it every four weeks.
Dealing with size changes and size uncertainty is so challenging. I’ve definitely found it easier to get everything out of my closet that doesn’t currently fit me, even if that only leaves me with a small wardrobe. It’s better to only have things in front of us that we can wear right now. I miss wearing certain types of shoes, too, but having sore feet can make any experience SO much less enjoyable. “Comfort shoes” have come a long way in recent years, so they don’t all look as “orthopedic” as they used to.
It sounds like you’re trying to navigate both physical and emotional comfort, much like I am. I really want to get away from having clothes that require my staying in a very narrow weight range in order for them to work. Jeans are a HUGE culprit in this regard, especially since any weight I gain seems to go right to my hips and upper thighs, rendering jeans uncomfortable post haste 😦
The mental image issue is so difficult. Sometimes I glimpse myself in the mirror and wonder who’s the “old lady” that’s looking back at me. I wish I had the type of zen attitude about aging that some women have, but that’s not me at all…
I wish you all the best with navigating all of the uncertainty and finding a wardrobe that feels good to you both physically and emotionally. It really is worth cultivating such a wardrobe. We have to dress for ourselves first and foremost. I’m trying to do that AND be okay with it and not worry about what others think. I’m not there yet, but it’s a worthy goal.
After losing weight, I am currently finding that my clothes are fitting better. I don’t keep holding zones but some clothes had become a challenge to wear after Covid-related weight gain. (I certainly recognise the need for strategic toppers: in my case, to hide embarrassing bulges I’d rather keep to myself).
You give more than one reason for letting go items that (temporarily) don’t fit due to weight change. I think my number one reason is that I have found a better quality, more flattering alternative. For instance, I recently donated a light-weight summer dress topper after buying a new version with a tie wrap and some stretch, which is more figure flattering whatever my weight and much more versatile. I can wear it open or loosely tied, or more tightly tied to feature my waist. I can also wear the sleeves folded up past my elbows, pushed up to my forearms, or down to my lower wrists.
About your last bucket list item here, I would also check out Bridgette Raes’s blog. She provides endless inspiration on breathing colour into beauty bundles.
About my current style-related bucket list obsession, I guess it would be building the perfect collection of pretty summer dresses. … Closely followed by stockpiling the ultimate assortment of gorgeous shoes … but when is that not high atop my bucket list? 😊
Not sure how I managed to reply rather than add a new comment. Must have hit the wrong button …
It’s okay, Sue. It happens like that sometimes, even to me when I go to respond. This is especially true when it’s the last comment on a page, but it can happen other times, too. No worries!
That’s great that your clothes are fitting better now, Sue. Not needing to use strategic toppers will probably make it easier for you to get dressed, especially in the warmer months.
Finding a better quality, more flattering alternative is an excellent reason for getting rid of things, whether they currently fit us or not. I didn’t mention that as one of my reasons, but that has definitely been the case for me on multiple occasions. It sounds like your new dress topper is quite versatile and was a good find!
I love Bridgette Raes and actually had a couple of virtual sessions with her back in 2014 (which I documented on Recovering Shopaholic – if you or others want to check out those posts, here’s the link: https://recoveringshopaholic.com/category/bridgette-raes-style-advice/). I should go back and read those posts myself… She tried to get me into wearing colored shoes back then, but I didn’t get on board with it. I think that with “beauty bundles,” I would do it, though. I just struggle with wearing a particular color in only ONE place in an outfit.
Good luck with building your summer dress and gorgeous shoe collections! I agree that those are always good bucket list items!
Fit and proportion are the weak links in my personal style. Good fit is just so hard to find off the rack to begin with, and then if you have any size/shape variations (tall like you, plus size like me, etc.), it gets even tougher. The 1/3 and 2/3 proportion is also challenging for me to routinely achieve because I also tend to wear longer tops and not highlight my (no longer svelte) waist. I have been playing around with different kinds of partial tucks with some success, but the Futz Factor is high with that and I don’t always want to deal with it.
There’s also very little good advice/guidance out there for plus size women, I have to say. Too much of it is actually written by straight size women who make unrealistic assumptions about how things work on plus size bodies…sort of the equivalent of the clothing manufacturer who has a size 8 fit model and then thinks they can just scale up to plus size without putting additional thought into it. I swear they think that a size 2X body is just a size M body scaled up, but you know what, I didn’t actually grow into a towering giant when I gained weight 😀 I guess this is similar to the fact that your rear isn’t bigger just because you are tall.
I think my personal goal with respect to proportion and fit is to (1) know what is the ideal/generally looks good (e.g the 1/3 and 2/3 ratio), (2) figure out a few go-to methods for achieving “good” proportion…whether that applies to what I buy in the first place, what pieces I put together, and/or how to futz with the items in the outfit, and (3) feel empowered in any given outfit on any given day to decide how important fit/proportion is relative to other aspects of the outfit.
I also believe that nearly every woman would benefit from (4) caring less about whether something is what society has deemed “flattering” on them. To me, this is different from the “love your body and embrace your flaws!” mentality because it’s a matter of changing the priority we put on looking like the societal ideal rather than changing our view of what the ideal looks like (and we really can’t as individuals change what the societal ideal looks like).
You know that I get it about “off the rack” fit, Sally. It can be so challenging for some of us! I have probably paid for multiple vacations for my alterations lady at this point… As for proportion, while I would love to have more 1/3, 2/3 outfits, I sometimes am okay with not having perfect proportions if I feel physically and emotionally comfortable in the outfit. I have never felt like a partial tuck worked for me, but I do have some tops that have twist or ruched details that make them shorter in the front, so it’s almost the same thing.
I know that there’s a lot to be desired in terms of plus-size fashion. I’ve shopped a lot with my mom, who is plus-sized, and she has more fit issues than I do for sure. She struggles a lot with tops, especially with necklines that are too wide. She also has trouble with pants being too baggy in the legs when they fit her well around the waist and tummy. I remember years ago that Lane Bryant had three different fits for various body types, but I don’t think they kept that up. Not only does just scaling “straight size” garments up not work, designers don’t take into account that not all plus-sized bodies carry their weight the same way. For awhile, it seemed like plus-sized fashion was improving, but maybe that’s not the case. Sigh…
I like your personal goals for proportion and fit. I have more go-to methods for proportion when I can layer, but I’m still struggling with summer pants outfits. I hope to improve things there this summer. I love your point number 4, and this is something I’m really working on. Some of what is “flattering” I either don’t like or don’t feel comfortable wearing. We need to dress in a way that makes US happy, first and foremost. I do that a lot of the time, but in some situations, I overthink things and care too much about what others think. And then I’m often self-conscious and don’t enjoy myself. No one wants that! Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom here!
Sally, I am just having my first experiences with plus size clothing, and it’s quite shocking. Anyone familiar with women in general can see that there is no single plus size shape, yet every brand of clothing I’ve tried so far assumes that women in this size category are, as you say, a medium blown up three or four times. I am only “plus-sized” in the middle, so anything off the rack that fits my middle looks like a linebacker hand me down, with excess fabric hanging in folds over my shoulders, arms, and chest. I can’t even describe the weirdness of plus size pants.
I really need to get back to sewing my own clothing, and I look forward to maybe having some time to do that soon. There is a huge movement in the sewing community to make pattern sizing more inclusive AND to make the patterns fit bodies better. There are pattern companies that specialize in various body shapes and even some that offer patterns with different pieces for large/small hips or large/small belly or “flat bottom” (Debbie take note if you ever start sewing 😊). It would be great if clothing manufacturers would take a cue from the popularity of these pattern designers and get to work fixing their own plus size offerings.
Have you ever considered having a bespoke pair of pants made in a pattern designed to deal with the droopy butt problem? When I went back to look at the alternative black/white pants in the prior post I noticed you were writing about the droop issue there as well. Rather than buy pants and pay to have them altered, something that can be a bit hit or miss, maybe looking into a custom pair would be a possibility?
I too am heading for a hair cut, but I think I’m going for shorter than shoulder length. I grew out my hair when I went gray but I’m tired of it and would like a fluffier summer look. Not sure if I’ll take the plunge and get “bangs” but I am looking for a change.
I don’t wear dresses or skirts in cool weather, but I do in the Summer so I am enjoying wearing something different. Now and then I even drag out some of the jewelry I used to wear more often.
How’s it going with your wear a scarf goal?
Yes, Rose, I have considered getting pants made, but I haven’t actually DONE it yet. I didn’t realize that I mentioned the droopy pants issue in that earlier post, but it doesn’t surprise me because it’s a long-standing issue. I have looked into some custom pants websites, but they don’t seem to ask about the droopy seat issue. It could take some trial and error to get a good fit (the manufacturers often offer re-dos), but then maybe I could later order other pants using the same “formula.” If I do it, I will be sure to report back.
Good luck with your haircut! Bangs often look good on a lot of people and can be a good change. I probably won’t do anything too different with my hair just yet, but I do ponder it sometimes. I don’t know that the long, straight, one-length hair will be a good idea in 5 or 10 years. For now, I will just cut a few inches off, but eventually I will probably do a bigger change.
I wrote about the scarf goal in my part one update. I haven’t made much progress with it yet. I think I need to find a way to store/display my scarves where I will see them better. I did move them to the drawer next to my jewelry, but I’ve been so out of the habit of wearing them that I think I need to see them next to my clothes somehow in order to reach for them more often.
My Lawyer Son had a custom suit made by a place where you went in, had measurements and then they sent them off someplace and returned the nearly finished suit. That worked for him. However, one would expect to have to have a suit tailored and usually ladies aren’t factoring that into their shopping criteria. The other downside is that if you didn’t like the pattern or the material it’s not returnable.
Husband had a business trip to India and had several shirts made while he was there and he wore those until they fell apart. I think clothes that fit right reduce try-on/take-offs when you’re trying to get dressed.
I looked up the adjustment for a flat backside, and it looks hard to make on already made clothing b/c the alteration appears to be horizontal, not vertical. So it would be a seam someplace there wasn’t already a seam, and require disassembling the whole pair of pants.
https://www.thewalnuthomestead.com/sewing/how-to-alter-a-sewing-pattern-for-a-flat-bum-flat-seat-adjustment.
I found a photo of my hair from almost 10 years ago and took that into the salon. It’s not exactly the dreaded bangs, more a curved line across the front. It’s been extremely humid and rainy this week so mostly my hair looks like a big puff ball, but I’m hoping once the weather dries out that it will be fluffy and feely summery!
Yes, Rose, I think men are far more accustomed to having clothing made and tailored, at least when it comes to suits. My husband had suits and jackets made in Asia (I think in Taiwan) many years ago and was impressed with the quality. I don’t think most women are willing to tailor their clothes, but of course, I’m used to it and allocate the funds for that process. But getting clothing custom-made is bound to be more expensive. However, it could be worth it.
Thanks for sending the link about seat adjustments in clothing. The adjustment really made a big difference! The “before” picture is very much like what I experience – sigh… In a few instances, my tailor was able to take pants in at the back seam and it worked well without having to disassemble the pants. The latter would probably be cost-prohibitive, and she always tells me if she thinks something isn’t worth it.
I know firsthand that humidity can completely transform a hairstyle. I have a totally different head of hair in Lake Tahoe (where my family lives and it’s very dry) and Hawaii, for example. I love the Tahoe hair and find the Hawaii hair totally unmanageable (and rely completely on hats, ponytails, and braids). I hope you will be happy with your hair when the weather shifts!