My Wardrobe, Myself

Fear and the Opinions of Others

Debbie Roes

September 11, 2013

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Recovering Shopaholic.

As I’ve touched upon in previous posts, I often worry too much about what other people think of me. My desire to “look good” and be acceptable in other’s eyes has been a big driver of my compulsive shopping behavior (see “Shopping for Acceptance”). Although my concern about other’s opinions has wreaked havoc on my “bottom line,” that’s far from the worst of its effects. In today’s post, I share the impact of my deep-seated fear of how others view me, how it’s caused problems in my life, and some steps I’m taking to turn things around.

Do you worry too much about what others think of you?

Friends, Shopping, and Telling the Truth

Debbie Roes

40 comments

August 21, 2013

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Recovering Shopaholic.

A few days ago, I had lunch with a friend. We always eat at the same place, which is right across from the mall, and we invariably do a bit (or more) of shopping following our meal. This friend is also a shopaholic, but I don’t think she is a recovering shopaholic. She seems to love shopping several times per week, reading all the fashion magazines, saving discount cards and coupons, and amassing a wardrobe of gigantic proportions.

I’m Not So Honest in My “Real Life”

While many readers have praised me for the honesty in my posts, I haven’t told many people in my “real life” about this blog. Although I wish I could be as open and honest as I am here with those I see face to face, this is still an area of struggle for me.

It’s not as easy for me to be honest in my “real life.”

Turning the Page – Birthday Reflections

Debbie Roes

26 comments

August 14, 2013

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Recovering Shopaholic.

Last Thursday was my birthday. One thing about birthdays and holidays is that we tend to remember how we spent those occasions last year and what our lives were like at the time. We have a tendency to make comparisons and reflect upon how we have progressed or regressed in the preceding year. Sometimes these reflections make us happy, while other times they leave us feeling melancholy or perplexed.

In today’s post, I share some of my reflections upon turning the page on yet another year.

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What Is “A Full Life”?

Debbie Roes

12 comments

June 28, 2013

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Recovering Shopaholic.

As you know, the tagline for Recovering Shopaholic is “Trade Your Full Closet for a Full Life.” Thus far, the majority of my posts have focused on the first part, the full closet. With a closet of over 300 items and an out of control shopping habit, I felt the need to begin by paring things down and getting a handle on my compulsive buying. While both of those endeavors are still “works in progress,” I now feel the desire and need to give more attention to the “full life” portion of my tagline and mission.

What does it mean to have “a full life”?

In my recent post titled “Boring Wardrobe – or Boring Life,” I admitted that my life isn’t nearly as fulfilling as I would like. I think this is true for many shopaholics, as our shopping behavior frequently serves to either fill the emptiness we feel inside or as a means of distraction from the painful feelings and situations we don’t want to consider (see “The Reasons We Shop Too Much“).

Resolutions Done Right

Debbie Roes

no comments

January 5, 2011

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, The Healing Project.

The end of the year is often a time of looking back. What was great about the past year? What didn’t work so well? We often find ourselves performing a sort of audit on the past year so we can get a sense of closure prior to moving forward into the New Year.

I conducted such an audit on my life and came up with 15 serious personal and professional wins for the year (including regular blogging!), as well as three key areas of my life which didn’t go as well as I would have liked. This audit created a firm foundation for my 2011 planning and I highly recommend that you do something similar.

New Year’s Resolutions

The start of a new year is generally a time when we look forward instead of backwards. Many people set goals for the coming year, which are commonly referred to as “New Year’s Resolutions.” While such resolutions get a bad rap from many people (often because they are typically broken within a few short weeks), I am a fan of designating areas to work on in one’s life. In fact, this blog resulted from my wanting to change various areas of my life during 2010.

While my life is still a work in progress (as is the case for everyone), I have made excellent progress in healing various areas of my life since I set the intention to do so in early 2010. I will be posting on my progress shortly as we approach the one-year milestone of “The Healing Project” on February 3, 2011. Stay tuned…

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