My Wardrobe, Myself

Hollow Victory

Debbie Roes

October 13, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Body Image Rehab.

I’ve lost a bit of weight lately… I’m not sure how much since I don’t weigh myself very often, but my clothes are looser and my stomach is surprisingly flat. While I am happy to be feeling leaner, my weight loss is somewhat of a “hollow victory” and I find myself having mixed feelings about it. I’ve lost the weight as a result of a health condition that has been causing me a great deal of distress in recent weeks (and the reason why I didn’t post a blog entry last week).

One Stomach Flu Away from Goal Weight?

This is different from “one stomach flu away from goal weight” a la Emily in “The Devil Wears Prada.” While it’s decidedly no fun to have the flu, you know that it will eventually end and you’ll be back to feeling like your normal self in a matter of days. Unfortunately, I’m not sure when I’ll be back to my “normal self.” Instead, it’s entirely possible that I will end up with a new definition for normal. My condition has a tendency to be chronic and difficult to treat, and it’s made it challenging for me to eat all that much food for a number of days now. In fact, I may end up losing more weight than I ideally want to lose as a result of my being on a continuous diet of sorts.

Clothing Size Obsession

Debbie Roes

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September 30, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Body Image Rehab.

Are you obsessed with the sizes of your clothing? Do you refuse to buy an item if it is a larger size than you normally wear? A recent article on the Weight Watchers website describes this phenomenon. Many women have a specific size in mind when shopping for clothing, and they are extremely hesitant to buy anything larger than that “magic” size.

Size Inconsistencies

Some highlights of the article include:

There is no standard sizing convention among women’s clothing manufacturers. Often, the more high-end the designer, the smaller the size. Even within a single brand, there are disparities.
“Vanity sizing,” in which measurements run larger than standard, is used by the majority of manufacturers today. One exception is the dress-pattern market, in which the measurements for the McCall’s size 8 correspond to the current 0 or 00 on the Banana Republic website!
Vanity sizing is driven entirely by marketing psychology. Women like to fit into a smaller size and single digits sound better than double digits.
The average American woman is 5’4.5” and wears a size 12 top and a size 14 bottom.
The dream size for most women on the Weight Watchers plan hovers between an 8 and a 10.

It’s the Little Things…

Debbie Roes

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September 30, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, The Healing Project.

“We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa

Many hands on a globe I have always wanted to make a difference in the world. Over the years, my vision for how I would do this has shifted, but I have maintained my desire to help others.

Lately, I have questioned how much of a contribution I’ve been making and have increasingly felt that what I do is not good enough. A recent experience vividly illustrated the powerful truth in Mother Teresa’s simple quote. The focus of this week’s post is on that experience, what it taught me, and how I will proceed in life based upon what I learned.

An Ordinary Evening – Or Not…

One evening two weeks ago, my husband and I went to the gym to work out. It was like any other evening, or at least that’s how it started out. As we were walking from the parking lot into the gym, we heard a noise… Upon repetition, it became clear to us that the sound was a cat’s meow. Soon, a small white cat with tabby markings was at our feet, meowing loudly and nudging us. Her friendly demeanor made it clear that she wasn’t a feral cat, but her thin appearance was characteristic of a stray and most likely abandoned feline. The meows were likely a cry for help, a plea for food by a cat that probably hadn’t had a good meal in a long time.

The Decision

Debbie Roes

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September 23, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, The Healing Project.

The following is a journal entry that I made on August 31, 2009. I titled this passage simply, “The Decision,” and have been carrying it in my purse now for over a year.

Although I didn’t start my “healing project” until February 2010, I consider “The Decision” to have been the start of my turning my life around. It was when I decided to change my attitude from negative to positive and to take charge of my life.

It Began with a Life-Changing Book…

I made an important decision today which I know will be life-changing. It happened while I was reading a book I’ve had for a year yet only recently started to read. The book is called “The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die.” I was so excited when I bought this book last September, but I was “too busy” to read it until now, or maybe I just wasn’t ready until now…

Fear, Negativity, and Pessimism

I turned 43 a few weeks ago, so statistically that puts me right at “mid-life.” Of course, I have no way of knowing if I have 40 or 50 more years to live – or only a few months. But even if I assume that I will live until 80 or 90 or more, do I want to live my life in the way I have been living it?

In recent months, I have become increasingly fearful, negative, and pessimistic. I worry about many things and I’ve become more and more fearful of death. It only hit me recently why I fear death so much. It isn’t about the “what happens after we die” question as much as it is about “what has my life meant?”

Shopping and Body Perspective

Debbie Roes

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September 22, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Body Image Rehab.

I recently found a journal entry I made following an interesting shopping experience I had back in 2004. I titled my journal entry “Perspective.” I am sharing what I wrote six years ago because I feel it is timeless and highly relevant to the “body image rehab” process.

Shopping and Perspective

I was in a department store buying clothes the other day. While waiting in line to pay, I overheard a conversation between the customer in front of me and the saleswoman behind the counter. The customer was buying a lot of new clothes and told the saleswoman it was because she had recently lost quite a bit of weight. I noticed that the clothes she was buying were all several sizes larger than my current size, a size that I feel is unacceptable. I also noted that this woman was approximately six inches shorter than me. While I would have been horrified to be purchasing those larger sizes at my height, this woman was absolutely thrilled to be wearing that same size.

It struck me at that moment that it is all about perspective. I hate wearing my current size now because I used to wear two sizes smaller (or even four or five sizes smaller during my anorexic years). In contrast, the woman in front of me loved the fact that she was buying her current size because she used to wear a much larger size. What disgusts me thrills her. Interesting how perspective affects how we feel about our size – and ourselves.