My Wardrobe, Myself

Weight and Mood

Debbie Roes

September 2, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Body Image Rehab.

Does your weight affect your mood? Mine definitely does… As I’ve mentioned before, I rarely step on the scale and there is a good reason for this. Nothing has the power to deflate my spirit and ruin my day as much as seeing a number on the scale that I view as unacceptable. I wish this wasn’t true, but the sad reality is that I allow a three-digit number to dictate my moods.

“Weight Mood Shift”

Unfortunately, however, my not weighing myself doesn’t mean that I escape what I term as “weight mood shift.” There are other measures of my weight besides the empirical data provided by the scale. There is the way I feel… Do I feel light and energetic, or do I feel heavy, bloated, and tired?

The way my clothes fit also provides me with fairly reliable data on how I am doing weight-wise. If I slip on a pair of pants and find myself unable to effortlessly zip or button them, or if they feel uncomfortably snug in the hips and thigh area, that’s a clue that I have put on some unwanted pounds. While it’s true that the weight might just be water retention instead of actual fat, the end result is the same – I feel unhappy.

Self-Criticism and Body Image

Debbie Roes

2 comments

August 26, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Body Image Rehab.

“I’m fat! My thighs are huge! I’m ugly! I look old!”

How often do you say these types of things about yourself, either aloud or inside your head? How much time and energy do you spend disparaging yourself and your appearance? Do you think this kind of negative self-talk helps you to change?

My Own Worst Critic

For many years, I was my own worst critic. I would criticize myself for a multitude of “sins,” but my most frequent criticisms related to my appearance. I set unbelievably high standards for how I looked, and I would berate myself for not living up to these benchmarks. Whenever I would look at myself in the mirror, all I would see were my flaws; my virtues were invisible to the harsh judge inside my head.

I used to believe that my self-criticism served a useful purpose. I thought that my brutal thoughts and words motivated me to change, and that the judgments pushed me toward productive action. While it’s true that seeing that I didn’t live up to my own standards propelled me to exercise more often and restrict my food intake, there was also a downside to my self-criticism that I didn’t see until recently.

Serenity, Courage, Wisdom…

Debbie Roes

4 comments

August 25, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, The Healing Project.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The passage above is called the Serenity Prayer. It is used frequently in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step recovery programs. It is simple yet extremely powerful. I believe that if one fully embraces and lives in tune with the words of this prayer, he or she will live a much more peaceful and happy life.

I dedicate this week’s post to the discussion of the Serenity Prayer, as I feel it is integral to my healing project and the healing of all those who have things in their lives they wish weren’t “so.” That pretty much describes all of us, now doesn’t it?

Can We Save Another?

There is a person I care about who is engaging in very self-destructive behavior and who is greatly endangering her health by her actions. It is very difficult for me to see this person hurt herself the way she does, especially since she has experienced several periods of recovery that I’d hoped would be permanent.

Over the years, I’ve tried to help this person in a multitude of ways, and I continue to ruminate upon what I could do now to assist her in overcoming her internal demons. In truth, I vacillate between wracking my brain to determine how I can help her and being so angry at her that I feel like just leaving her to the demise she seems so hell-bent upon bringing about.

How is YOUR Body Image?

Debbie Roes

8 comments

August 18, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, Body Image Rehab.

I have written a number of posts on the topic of body image, but today I’d like to take a step back to discuss the concept of body image in general and how it may be measured. Included are links to helpful online resources, including some body image assessments.

Once we have a baseline measurement of our current body image, it will be easier to check back later in the year to see how we’re progressing. Future posts will focus on concepts and exercises for improving the way we view and experience our bodies.

First, A Definition…

We all have a general idea of what is meant by the term “body image,” but I thought it might be helpful to start with an objective definition. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines body image as follows:

a subjective picture of one’s own physical appearance established both by self-observation and by noting the reactions of others

More important than the definition of body image are our individual experiences and perception of this concept. I found an interesting quiz related to body image on the National Organization for Women’s (NOW) website (2018 update – quiz no longer available). This quiz tests knowledge of societal trends related to body image, dieting, eating disorders, and related concepts. While I consider myself to be fairly knowledgeable about these topics, I was only able to answer 6 of the 10 questions correctly. I think I didn’t want to believe things had gotten as bad as they have!

Fear… Only a Thought

Debbie Roes

2 comments

August 17, 2010

NOTE: This post was originally published on my previous blog, The Healing Project.

“Fears are merely thoughts, and thoughts can be released.”
– Louise Hay

The quote above begins Chapter 4 of the “You Can Heal Your Life Companion Book,” the chapter which focuses on fearful emotions. Although I have been diligently working through all of the exercises in this book, I have decided to only post on those that are most impactful to me and which I feel will be most relevant to my readers.

In this post, I share some of the exercises from Chapter 4 and my responses, as well as some insights to use in your own journey to facing and overcoming fear.

The Price of Fear

Frightened Woman Fear impacts all of us. We let fear stop us from pursuing our dreams, speaking our minds, sharing our love, and fully living our lives. We experience fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of the future, fear of intimacy, and even fear of success. Some of us literally become paralyzed by our fears.

The chapter begins with a checklist of thirteen fear-related statements which express negative and limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. We are instructed to check the ones which feel true for us at present. Even though a few of the statements were phrased in more extreme language than I would personally use, I checked those for which I felt heaviness in my chest upon reading the words: